Quatermass wrote:......... fellating an orangutan...........
Given the opportunity, he [Rimmer] would gladly have had his eyes scooped out if it meant he could become and officer. He would happily have inserted two red hot needles simultaneously through both his ears so they met in the middle of his brain, and tap-danced the title song from 42nd Street barefoot on a bed of molten lava while giving oral sex to a male orang-utan with dubious personal hygiene, if only it meant attaining that single, elusive golden bar of an Astronavigation Officer, Fourth Class.
But he had to do something much more demanding, much more impossible, and much more unpleasant. He had to pass the astronavigation exam.
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