It Always Happens...

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Postby Broccolee » Mon Feb 07, 2011 9:22 pm

The heroine always has long open hair,long,manicured nails and high heels and never changes this fact.She is always a slightly helpless idiot.She might live on her own and be an exceptional professor of something,but as soon as the hero turns up,her brains go mush.She will be able to carry home four huge shopping bags without batting an eyelid,but as soon as HE turns up she can´t even pull out her beheeled foot from under a bookshelf without breaking it.
Every normal woman would first break off the heels and tie up her hair when in a dangerous situation,but our heroine never does.Yes,she trips over roots,but she never breaks a heel.She might even fall over,but she will still hang on to the bloody things.
She will invariably wear a very short,tight skirt even when she´s a gardener or a forensic,but will be able to climb ladders,ride horses or swim in it without it ever sliding up or tearing.She might not be able to see a thing,but she cannot master the simplest hair-and-pencil do,whatever else she might be doing.She will never tear a nail,and,when saved,no matter what happened to her,her hair,make-up and nails will instantly be perfect again.She never has to go to the loo,not even if it´s freezing cold.She just goes to powder her nose.

(Lara Croft does not count :wink:)
It´s still magic even if you know how it´s done.
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Postby Birthday » Mon Feb 07, 2011 9:24 pm

When hacking computer systems they never fail!
Also whenever good guys go into a building to attck bad guys, they bring a few unknown characters with them, these characters always die.
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Postby chris.ph » Mon Feb 07, 2011 9:38 pm

dressed in red in star trek lol
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Postby Sjoerd3000 » Mon Feb 07, 2011 9:43 pm

Bad guys firing at the hero will always miss, while the hero will easily dispatch badguys firing from the hip. This happens a lot in Arnold Schwarzenegger movies :P
A poster outside one shop urged people to Dig For Victory, as if it were some kind of turnip.
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Postby Tonyblack » Mon Feb 07, 2011 9:53 pm

Grenades either go off straight away or take several minutes - depending on the script. :D
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Postby mspanners » Tue Feb 08, 2011 7:55 am

A car will always explode if it goes over a cliff
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Postby Willem » Tue Feb 08, 2011 8:06 am

mspanners wrote:A car will always explode if it goes over a cliff

... and then a burning wheel will bounce towards the camera :)
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Postby Tonyblack » Tue Feb 08, 2011 8:11 am

In a high speed car chase, although the cars will hit each other and various objects, they'll hardly be marked. Reverse your own car into a bollard at about 10 mph and you'll have a great big dent.
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Postby meerkat » Tue Feb 08, 2011 9:32 am

When entering a strange buliding the hero always opens the glass door the right way, even when there is no push or pull signs!

(I can never get it right whether theres a push or pull sign or not! :lol: Let's not talk about the swing door in York post office :shock:)
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Postby mystmoon » Tue Feb 08, 2011 10:00 am

You can hack the most elaborate security systems by tapping the same keys over and over again whilst staring blankly at the screen
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Most aliens are on a convergent evolution path, since so many look like humans with prosthetics!
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Postby deldaisy » Tue Feb 08, 2011 1:51 pm

Girls always wake up in bed with the hero with perfect makeup. NO pandas eyes, no hair stuck up at the back, no pillowcase stuck to their face with drool.

Noone EVER goes to the toilet EVER.... They can be in lockdown, twenty of them for two days in the arctic while a space alien they have just thawed is raging through the compound and they NEVER need to pee.

Girls never get their monthlies either.... EVER.

AND the girls run for dear life through every type of scenario WITHOUT a HANDBAG!... What womens clothes have really useful pockets???? NONE! But THEY do!

Girls can be stranded on desert island for months and they always have shiney clean hair!!!!! AND SHAVED LEGS and UNDERARMS!!!!

Oh... and girls reach "satisfaction" in under 30 seconds.... a minute if its a foreign movie.

No-one farts.
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Postby MongoGutman » Tue Feb 08, 2011 2:40 pm

American shows are slightly less prone to this but on brittish tv there can be a series of grisly murders and the media will just ignore them, there won't be a reporter or tv crew to be seen.
Why don't you knock it off with them negative waves? Why don't you dig how beautiful it is out here? Why don't you say something righteous and hopeful for a change? ~~ Oddball
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Postby pip » Tue Feb 08, 2011 2:42 pm

MongoGutman wrote:American shows are slightly less prone to this but on brittish tv there can be a series of grisly murders and the media will just ignore them, there won't be a reporter or tv crew to be seen.


Unless the culprit is a local newspaper man :D
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Postby Penfold » Tue Feb 08, 2011 3:19 pm

Its just been mentioned on QI, but there was always a rattlesnake in the old Westerns/cowboy/desert films. Nowadays you never see one (unless you're Tony walking in Arizona, but thats real life and not film or tv). :D
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Postby Sjoerd3000 » Tue Feb 08, 2011 3:27 pm

Can´t remember there being a rattlesnake in the good, the bad and the ugly :wink:
A poster outside one shop urged people to Dig For Victory, as if it were some kind of turnip.
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