THE CARROTS "LIVE"

[Quatermass]

By the way, everyone who wrote a story will win a Carrot. So get working on those acceptence speeches!

Got mine written.

[poohcarrot]

CARROT FOR BEST SET DESIGNER

This young lady helped enormously by putting all the stories onto a word document for everyone except Pinflod to totally ignore.

A computer whizz who although wrote some average stories, could have a serious future in the world of website deseign, providing she learns how to spell, understands a bit more about punctuation, and brushes up on her grammar.

The winner is...

[poohcarrot]

CARROT FOR BEST SET DESIGN

JANO!

[poohcarrot]

CARROT FOR MOST PROMISING NEWCOMER

As everyone else who was entered were regulars, it was nice to see a new face who produced the excellent "Bedtime."

The winner is...

[poohcarrot]

CARROT FOR MOST PROMISING NEWCOMER

STRIPY!

[poohcarrot]

CARROT FOR BEST WORST LINE

48 stories, 4,800 words, over 1,000 sentences, yet one sentence shone out as being so bad, so god-awfully cringeworthy, so appalling, that it passed through the rapids of terrible-ness into the placid waters of sheer and utter brilliance.

The line was from The Deer.

Soon she’ll have forgotten him
Sure as rain, sure as the moon shines
But for now we see her thusly,
Pining among the pines.

One of the writer's other stories, I voted for twice because I thought it was so good.

The winner is...

[poohcarrot]

CARROT FOR BEST WORST LINE

WILLEM!

[poohcarrot]

As this is taking a helluva lot longer than I anticipated I have two choices.

1. Rush it
2. Continue tomorrow evening at the same time, with everything already typed up.

Hmm..........

WE WILL NOW TAKE A SHORT BREAK AND CONTINUE TOMORROW AT THE SAME TIME.

[Batty]

Can I throw rotten tomatoes?

Considering that I logged on - (but only after I finished a crispy bacon sandwich) - full of expectation - and all excited I was ... and now I have to wait until tomorrow??????

Yes, Q. Please throw some tomatoes! I'll join you! ...

[poohcarrot]

As Q was the only one making comments and he sent me a pm saying he was going to bed coz it was midnight, it seemed like a good idea.

But I will try and post all the other Carrots before 1:30 tomorrow apart from the Gold, silver and bronze.

[poohcarrot]

CARROT FOR THE MOST DEPRESSINGLY MISERABLE STORY THAT MADE ME WANT TO SLASH MY WRISTS AND STICK MY HEAD IN A GAS OVEN

There were several miserably depressing stories, but the judges picked this one as the miserablest of the miserablest. They then went outside and shot themselves.

Eternity
I couldn’t feel anything. Someone held my hand as I breathed in deeply.
“I’ll be here, don’t worry. Everything is going to be alright.”
Hours later, and I’m sitting in the dark, waiting. There’s no pain, no light, no thoughts. Just those words over and over.
But she’s not here. I can’t feel her holding my hand. She lied to me.
And, finally, I hear screaming.
“We have to pull the plug, I’m so sorry, she isn’t going to wake up”
For a second, nay, a mili-second, she looks at me.

WRITER OF ETERNITY !

[poohcarrot]

CARROT FOR MANAGING TO SNATCH DEFEAT FROM THE JAWS OF VICTORY

How did "Bang" lose?
And, once the pretentiously superfluous "Gaelic" had been removed and the swans explained, how did "Stories will fade" lose?
Ironic that "Stories will fade" got knocked out by "Pip's Baby" though.

PIP!

[poohcarrot]

BEST BOY CARROT

At the end of movies, you always see in the credits "Best boy". I have no idea what a "best boy" is and really can't be bothered to check.
So I will assume it means someone who helped.
The following person, apart from writing Trick, by far the best poem by a mile and a top 4 cert (but it wasn't), also provided valuable suggestions when I wasn't quite sure what voting system to adopt, both in the hilarious "Colin Smythe" story and the following quote;

"I say we make the voting system as complicated as possible with each voter getting many different graded votes, alternate choices, cross-referencing, sub-clauses to be taken into account, eliminations and endless rounds and try to make Pooh's head explode."

MONGO!

[MongoGutman]

I love you all, you're my besh *hic* I meen besh frends and you'll rue the day you voted me off, rue the day I tell you! And I would have got away with it too if it wasn't for those meddling kids and their pesky dog!

[Jan Van Quirm]

Well done to all my fellow carrot recipients so far

As it's obvious I'm rubbish at drabbles and much better with quick visuals and sundry layouts



With apologies to James Cameron's design team for that one for 'leeking' their next blockbuster Carrotar starring Pooh and all the 100 acre wood team.

As Pooh's worked so hard at making this the success it's become, I'm in the process of making a de-luxe typographic extravaganza PDF version of the wonkyish Word doc for us to share in perpetuity - or until they archive this sleepy little sub-forum that most of us had never heard of before... Available for download in this thread sometime tomorrow after all the awards are announced