Forum Writer of 2012 Competition

[Bouncy Castle]

Who said that?

[poohcarrot]

.

[Bouncy Castle]

.

..

[poohcarrot]

I'll see your .. and raise you a #

[Bouncy Castle]

I'll see your # and raise you @

[poohcarrot]

Amazingly, here's the first non-Pooh entry already!!
And it's darn good!!

If the writer wants to supply me with a title, I'll add it. (edit: Just added a title - hope it's OK)

2 Internet Dating

I was late. He minded. We sat at our table.

God, I hate online dating. You could get a bronzed god or a pale skinny weirdo. Unlucky this time - fascinating eyes though.

“You’re not going to order any garlic, are you?” he asked.
“It’s our first date, I’m only having garlic if you are too!” I tittered flirtingly.
He stared at his cutlery. “Is this real silver?”
“I don’t know, it’s a posh restaurant, so probably.”
We ordered steak, mine medium, his rare. I had some wine.
He walked me home.
Can’t remember anything after that.

First dates suck.

[Jan Van Quirm]

How bizarre!

This thread is running simutaneously in the non Discworld books section.
I never posted it there.

I've been back for a minute and already broken the forum.

Typical though!
The entry in BD is a link only - one of the mods must have moved it to the Non-Disc forum for a better 'fit'
Sure you'll make it to Valentine's smartypants...?

[poohcarrot]

Here's the second none-Pooh entry and all I can say is Wow!

3 BANG

Rapidly expanding and cooling.
Phase transition.
Cosmic inflation.
Baryogenesis.
Expansion.
Attraction.
Formation.
Gas clouds, stars and Galaxies.

Protoplanetry Disk.
Accretion.
Atmospheric drag.
Planet.
Earth.

Prokaryotic
Archaea.
Bacteria.
Photosybthesis.
Oxygenation.
Metabolisation
Eucaryotic
Invertebrate
Vertebrate
Dinosaurs.
Mammels
Apes
Australopithecine
Homo
Erectus
Habilus
Neanerthalensis
Sapiens idalatu
Sapiens Sapiens

Tools
Hunting
Weapons
Agriculure
Society
Weapons
War
Weapons
Religion
Weapons
Science
Weapons
Industry
Weapons.
Technology.
Weapons.
Development of shiny buttons

Big shiny pretty red button. Small heavily evolved Homo Sapien.

Billions of years of formation. Billions of years of evolution. Thousands of years of advancement.

Uncontrollable urge to push the shiny button.

BANG

[chris.ph]

nice to see you back for a bit matey, dont look at me as i cant string 100 words together without adding a few expletives

[SimStars13]

Are we only allowed to submit more than one? Trying to think of some good ideas

[poohcarrot]

4 Reminisc(r)ing

I had a ring, once.



I’m not one for jewellery in general but this was an heirloom.

It didn’t have any gems in it or anything. It was just a plain, simple golden ring. Yet, it was… precious to me.




I carried it around with me everywhere I went.

I lost it somewhere. Long ago, far away from here.

I told the insurance company I was robbed. Bloodied myself up a bit to make it look convincing. That’s how I paid for the cruise that got me here.


You want another banananana daiquiri? No? Fine.

[poohcarrot]

Are we only allowed to submit more than one? Trying to think of some good ideas

You can submit as many as you like.

[poohcarrot]

5 FIRST CONTACT BETWEEN THE PRESIDENT OF THE INTERGALACTIC FEDERATION OF PLANETS AND EARTH
(LINGUA FRANCA)

hi earthlings
u recently crossed the techno threshold 2 join IFP, but u worry us!
imho ur 2 nutz 2 join lol!
ur nuclear but use it 2 make bmbs!
u only care about $$!
ur destroying your wrld wiv wars, pollutn + overpopulatn!
iirc, 2,000 yrs ago u nailed our peace envoy 2 a X ffs!!
despite overwhelming evidence u STILL believe god made your wrld 6,000 yrs ago! rotflol
sorry 2 say earthlings, but not this time
fwiw, here's some advice foc;
B NICE 2 EACH OTHER!
cu in another 2,000 yrs - if u still exist!
ttfn
President

[Quatermass]

...


What.

And I thought it was bad enough when I had a flick through iDrakula yesterday...

[Jan Van Quirm]

Do something better and PM it to pooh then Q

(PS it really and truly wasn't me who did Frodo one )