Thief of Time question (not for the squeamish)

Moderators: Jason, Toothy, Tonyblack

Postby chris.ph » Wed Jan 13, 2010 1:53 pm

kakaze wrote:
chris.ph wrote:lets have a competition , who has the most orifices bet i win :shock: :wink:

2 eyes
2 ears
2nostrils
1 old boy (male twinkle)
2 arseholes :wink: :lol: (1 is sticking out of my stomach)
2bellybuttons(when they sowed me back up they literally went straight back up hence 2)
1mouth

go on then beat that :lol: :lol: :lol:


If you're referring to your belly button, that would be a second gullet, not a second arse.

Now, if you're referring to a colostomy bag, that would be a different matter.... do you poop out of your paunch?




ive got an ileostomy not a colostomy same sort of thing different side :)
measuring intelligence by exam results is like measuring digestion by turd length
User avatar
chris.ph
Member
 
Posts: 8588
Joined: Tue Aug 12, 2008 11:52 am
Location: swansea south wales

Postby raisindot » Wed Jan 13, 2010 6:17 pm

Dotsie wrote:
raisindot wrote:Is the crack between the cheeks an invagination?

J-I-B :shock:


Actually it's referred to as a "cleft".


You Brits. You got a word for everything! :)

J-I-B
raisindot
Member
 
Posts: 3172
Joined: Thu Oct 01, 2009 3:28 pm
Location: Boston, MA USA

Postby Jan Van Quirm » Wed Jan 13, 2010 6:24 pm

Only if it's 'rude' - gotta love euphemisms here :wink:
"Some men see things as they are and ask why. Others dream things that never were and ask why not.” George Bernard Shaw
User avatar
Jan Van Quirm
Member
 
Posts: 10481
Joined: Fri Nov 07, 2008 9:07 pm
Location: Dunheved, Kernow

Postby Tonyblack » Wed Jan 13, 2010 6:45 pm

I can't believe this subject has gone on for four pages. :lol:
"Goodness is about what you do. Not what you pray to."
User avatar
Tonyblack
Moderator
 
Posts: 28695
Joined: Fri Jul 25, 2008 4:29 pm
Location: Cardiff, Wales

Postby chris.ph » Wed Jan 13, 2010 7:00 pm

i will put money on that it goes further as well, if you mention orifices anywhere it just goes on and on :lol:
measuring intelligence by exam results is like measuring digestion by turd length
User avatar
chris.ph
Member
 
Posts: 8588
Joined: Tue Aug 12, 2008 11:52 am
Location: swansea south wales

Postby theoldlibrarian » Wed Jan 13, 2010 7:26 pm

I just checked it out and apparently: ears, ear canals, eyes, sweat glands, anal, nipple, naval, urethra, va@@@a, mouth and sweat glands all count as bodily orifices. So that makes 15 orifices excluding all the pores.
It is not enough to succeed, others must fail
-Gore Vidal
User avatar
theoldlibrarian
Member
 
Posts: 342
Joined: Wed Dec 30, 2009 5:24 am
Location: Dublin, Ireland

Postby Jan Van Quirm » Wed Jan 13, 2010 7:47 pm

But we have masses more than 1 sweat glands and the same for nipples (which are redundant in males... :wink: ) and skin really isn't an orifice as such - it's waterproof for a start (externally anyway) :roll: - that's just silly :wink:

Also the ear canal counts as a separate orifice to the ear? - twaddle! :lol: the Eustachian tube perhaps, but that's not an external opening so doesn't count - and anyway it's a tube - like the navel was... :roll:

This is silly - lets call it major 'working' orifices, admit eyes on that basis as they 'leak' bodily fluids and wash the eyeball and forget sweat/milk pores :P
"Some men see things as they are and ask why. Others dream things that never were and ask why not.” George Bernard Shaw
User avatar
Jan Van Quirm
Member
 
Posts: 10481
Joined: Fri Nov 07, 2008 9:07 pm
Location: Dunheved, Kernow

Postby raisindot » Thu Jan 14, 2010 1:15 am

Jan Van Quirm wrote:This is silly - lets call it major 'working' orifices, admit eyes on that basis as they 'leak' bodily fluids and wash the eyeball and forget sweat/milk pores :P


Agree with all but the eyes. Don't know what Wiki says, but common sense would stipulate that a bodily orifice SHOULD be something you can stick gently stick something into a little bit without actually damaging any surrounding or obstructing tissue or organs. Can't say that for eyes or nipples, regardless of what the punks and skinheads do with 'em. Yuck. Maybe the auditors had the right idea after all.

:?

J-I-B
raisindot
Member
 
Posts: 3172
Joined: Thu Oct 01, 2009 3:28 pm
Location: Boston, MA USA

Postby raisindot » Thu Jan 14, 2010 1:16 am

Tonyblack wrote:I can't believe this subject has gone on for four pages. :lol:


I will do everything in my power to keep this going as long as possible. Sure as hell beats discussing "Pyramids."

[Ducking]

:P

J-I-B
raisindot
Member
 
Posts: 3172
Joined: Thu Oct 01, 2009 3:28 pm
Location: Boston, MA USA

Postby raisindot » Thu Jan 14, 2010 1:18 am

theoldlibrarian wrote: va@@@a


If you're going to use explicitly smutty words like that, please warn those of us with sensitive temperaments.

:lol:

J-I-B
raisindot
Member
 
Posts: 3172
Joined: Thu Oct 01, 2009 3:28 pm
Location: Boston, MA USA

Postby Jan Van Quirm » Thu Jan 14, 2010 1:31 am

raisindot wrote:Agree with all but the eyes. Don't know what Wiki says, but common sense would stipulate that a bodily orifice SHOULD be something you can stick gently stick something into a little bit without actually damaging any surrounding or obstructing tissue or organs. Can't say that for eyes or nipples, regardless of what the punks and skinheads do with 'em. Yuck. Maybe the auditors had the right idea after all.

:?

J-I-B

It stuff that comes out as well as with the nose (runny stuff) and the mouth (spit and vomit) and most of the nether region orifices too (or both in and out in some cases, notably female twinkles - as in babies and other messy inconvenient stuff) :twisted:

Eyes stay in... :lol:
"Some men see things as they are and ask why. Others dream things that never were and ask why not.” George Bernard Shaw
User avatar
Jan Van Quirm
Member
 
Posts: 10481
Joined: Fri Nov 07, 2008 9:07 pm
Location: Dunheved, Kernow

Postby raisindot » Thu Jan 14, 2010 1:46 am

Jan Van Quirm wrote:It stuff that comes out as well as with the nose (runny stuff) and the mouth (spit and vomit) and most of the nether region orifices too (or both in and out in some cases, notably female twinkles - as in babies and other messy inconvenient stuff) :twisted:

Eyes stay in... :lol:


Agree that stuff coming out is definitely officially orificial in nature. But, given that you can't always RELY on something to come out of an orifice on demand (ummm, I can only speak for us menfolk, obviously), I submit that the :"stick something gently into it" test is rely the only reliable way to determine what an orifice. Now, if you can stick something in your eye without having an Oedipal reaction, I will give you the "eyes" as orifices.

:o

J-I-B
raisindot
Member
 
Posts: 3172
Joined: Thu Oct 01, 2009 3:28 pm
Location: Boston, MA USA

Postby Jan Van Quirm » Thu Jan 14, 2010 2:23 am

Eye-drops - they are absorbed and clear infections. :twisted:

I had a blocked tear duct once and the eye-drops I was prescribed cleared it so it had to have been absorbed in some fashion
"Some men see things as they are and ask why. Others dream things that never were and ask why not.” George Bernard Shaw
User avatar
Jan Van Quirm
Member
 
Posts: 10481
Joined: Fri Nov 07, 2008 9:07 pm
Location: Dunheved, Kernow

Postby Dotsie » Thu Jan 14, 2010 6:46 am

Jan Van Quirm wrote:Eye-drops - they are absorbed and clear infections. :twisted:

I had a blocked tear duct once and the eye-drops I was prescribed cleared it so it had to have been absorbed in some fashion


No, the anitibiotic sits on the surface of the eye, which is where the bacteria are also found. If the bacteria were internalised you would eiher kill them or get septicaemia. So if the antibiotic got absorbed it wouldn't be where the bacteria were, and it wouldn't be much good, would it? :wink:

Chloramphenicol (the antibiotic in eyedrops) is very strong but also very toxic. This is why it is only used in eyedrops, because it isn't absorbed by the body.
What's up with this glass? Excuse me? Excuse me? This is my glass? I don't think so. My glass was full! And it was a bigger glass!
User avatar
Dotsie
Member
 
Posts: 9412
Joined: Mon Jul 28, 2008 11:07 am

Postby kakaze » Thu Jan 14, 2010 7:07 am

Jan Van Quirm wrote:nipples (which are redundant in males... :wink: )


Shows what you know. I use mine on a regular basis. :D

Jan Van Quirm wrote:Eye-drops - they are absorbed and clear infections. :twisted:


And my skin absorbs hand lotion & sunscreen, but it's an organ, not an orifice, as you pointed out earlier.

If we're using the "stuff comes out" basis to measure orificity, what about saliva glands, and whatever produces mucas in the sinases?

If it comes to that, technically, our gastro-intestinal tract is considered "exteral" surface (since it's a tube running through our body), so how about stomach-acid & bile glands?
















Is anyone else beginning to feel full of holes? I think I've just discovered a new phobia; perforatiophobia - the fear of being poked full of holes! :lol: Closely related to Trypanophobia.
kakaze
Member
 
Posts: 534
Joined: Wed Jun 03, 2009 11:42 am

PreviousNext

Return to Discworld novels

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 2 guests