My (very short) writing

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Postby Tina a.k.a.SusanSto.Helit » Thu Aug 13, 2009 8:51 pm

Jakindra wrote:
WeeKelda wrote:Quite a long time later...

Douglas McDermatFloofy III looked at his father's sword. He picked it up. He dropped it again, sucking his fingers. He glanced at the manual. " Hold it at ye blunt end, ye fool" He read, very slowly. Feeling proud at his feat, after all it had only taken half an hour, He reversed the sword and tried again. A surge of power didn't come up his arm, red fire didn't dance before his eyes but it did feel right.


He tried waving it around in front of him, as he had seen the older men in the village do when they played with each other. The sword certainly felt much heavier than it looked, and as it slowly thumped against a wooden column, Doug's clammy fingers lost their grip and he plunged head-first into the remains of the cooking-fire. The fire, not having quite gone out yet, spread itself to Doug's bushy hair. And as he ran around screaming like a little girl to get the flames out, it dawned on him that maybe, maybe he didn't quite have the upper-body strength to wield his fathers sword, thin and lanky as he were.


After dunking his poor wee head in the horse trough, Douglas McDermatfloofy III decided to take a nap. In his sleepy mind came a vision of lovliness, a fiery red-haired vixen, (not unlike Tina's Baby Sister). She spoke to him about the sword and how very special he was and how handsome he would be, especially when his hair grew back. She explained that he should ignore silly old men and learn to pick up heavy things to make his little arms Big and Strong like the Blacksmith. She even suggested that he speak to the Big man and ask for help becoming a Big and Strong man so that he could practice his newfound calling. She told him that he had a Destiny, and a Geas before him. (not to be confused with Geese or Long Stares) He would wield this special sword with Dignity and with Great Prowess in the pursuit of Goodness and probably a very special wench to marry someday, but getting back on the topic as she slid back into the pond, she told him that he should work hard to fulfill the Destiny, lest a Moose decide to play hacky-sack with his little body.
Aha! So, Bob's yer uncle... very clever.
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Postby Jakindra » Mon Aug 17, 2009 4:39 pm

Tina a.k.a.SusanSto.Helit wrote:
After dunking his poor wee head in the horse trough, Douglas McDermatfloofy III decided to take a nap. In his sleepy mind came a vision of lovliness, a fiery red-haired vixen, (not unlike Tina's Baby Sister). She spoke to him about the sword and how very special he was and how handsome he would be, especially when his hair grew back. She explained that he should ignore silly old men and learn to pick up heavy things to make his little arms Big and Strong like the Blacksmith. She even suggested that he speak to the Big man and ask for help becoming a Big and Strong man so that he could practice his newfound calling. She told him that he had a Destiny, and a Geas before him. (not to be confused with Geese or Long Stares) He would wield this special sword with Dignity and with Great Prowess in the pursuit of Goodness and probably a very special wench to marry someday, but getting back on the topic as she slid back into the pond, she told him that he should work hard to fulfill the Destiny, lest a Moose decide to play hacky-sack with his little body.


Douglas woke with a feeling that there was something very important he should remember. It had something to do with his future. He was certain of this. He could very clearly recall a glistening, wet lady stepping out of a pond and talking energetically to him whilst waving her hands in all directions to illustrate. Her flaming red hair spreading out behind her like the wings of a devil. What she had said was a whole other matter. She had been naked, mind you. And hot. And he was after all a young man that only had begun to discover the delights of womanhood. Or heard about it from the other men really. Women rarely paid him any attention, except for his mum, who did so a bit too much. The glistening lady had said something about the Big man. He hoped she didn't fancy him, even though he was very, very big. It was after all his dream she had appeared in, not the Big man's, so he would like to have her himself. Or, he couldn't actually know if she had been in the Big man's dream as well, as he didn't know what he dreamt about. Maybe she was a dream-slut, appearing naked in all the men's dreams making them want her.

After a light discussion with his inner self, Douglas McDermatFloofy III came to the conclusion that maybe women preferred Big Men, and his best way of getting one was becoming Big like the Big man, but also Strong, so he could beat him in an eventual fight over said woman, or any other woman that looked at him twice without making a face really.
"It's difficult to produce a television documentary that is both incisive and probing when every twelve minutes you are interrupted by dancing rabbits singing about toilet paper"
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Postby Tina a.k.a.SusanSto.Helit » Mon Aug 17, 2009 6:22 pm

Jakindra wrote:
Tina a.k.a.SusanSto.Helit wrote:
After dunking his poor wee head in the horse trough, Douglas McDermatfloofy III decided to take a nap. In his sleepy mind came a vision of lovliness, a fiery red-haired vixen, (not unlike Tina's Baby Sister). She spoke to him about the sword and how very special he was and how handsome he would be, especially when his hair grew back. She explained that he should ignore silly old men and learn to pick up heavy things to make his little arms Big and Strong like the Blacksmith. She even suggested that he speak to the Big man and ask for help becoming a Big and Strong man so that he could practice his newfound calling. She told him that he had a Destiny, and a Geas before him. (not to be confused with Geese or Long Stares) He would wield this special sword with Dignity and with Great Prowess in the pursuit of Goodness and probably a very special wench to marry someday, but getting back on the topic as she slid back into the pond, she told him that he should work hard to fulfill the Destiny, lest a Moose decide to play hacky-sack with his little body.


Douglas woke with a feeling that there was something very important he should remember. It had something to do with his future. He was certain of this. He could very clearly recall a glistening, wet lady stepping out of a pond and talking energetically to him whilst waving her hands in all directions to illustrate. Her flaming red hair spreading out behind her like the wings of a devil. What she had said was a whole other matter. She had been naked, mind you. And hot. And he was after all a young man that only had begun to discover the delights of womanhood. Or heard about it from the other men really. Women rarely paid him any attention, except for his mum, who did so a bit too much. The glistening lady had said something about the Big man. He hoped she didn't fancy him, even though he was very, very big. It was after all his dream she had appeared in, not the Big man's, so he would like to have her himself. Or, he couldn't actually know if she had been in the Big man's dream as well, as he didn't know what he dreamt about. Maybe she was a dream-slut, appearing naked in all the men's dreams making them want her.

After a light discussion with his inner self, Douglas McDermatFloofy III came to the conclusion that maybe women preferred Big Men, and his best way of getting one was becoming Big like the Big man, but also Strong, so he could beat him in an eventual fight over said woman, or any other woman that looked at him twice without making a face really.


Later that day, Douglas McDermatfloofy III was taking a walk to pick some berries. Whilst in the woods he became unaccountably frightened when he saw a couple of Moose( or is it Meese?) wandering and ran back home in a lather. He decided to leave berries to his sisters and start picking up a large brick and trying to move it until his back, arms and legs were so tired and sore that he realized perhaps this was what the dream meant.

He had a talk with his neighbor the Blacksmith, who agreed to let him help with the work so he could become big and strong (odd dreams aside for now) He worked very hard and lifted many things. He worked the bellows for hours and started to get little bumps on his bicep area and his legs grew strong and muscular. When he grew up a little more he began to get that "fireplug" look (a bit like a short Jason Ogg). He kept working with the sword when the Blacksmith had time to show him how to hold the blasted thing to start off properly.
Aha! So, Bob's yer uncle... very clever.
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Postby Who's Wee Dug » Mon Aug 17, 2009 10:08 pm

They're good. Image
He willnae tak' a drink! I think he's deid! , on the other hand though A Midgie in yir hand is worth twa up yir kilt.
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Postby bikkit » Mon Aug 24, 2009 6:07 am

:lol: :lol: :lol:
Image

I'm going to need a swat team, ready to mobilize, street maps covering the whole of florida, a pot of coffee, 12 jammy dodgers and A FEZ.
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