My (very short) writing

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My (very short) writing

Postby bikkit » Mon Aug 03, 2009 1:16 pm

This is a very short writing by me. Critise it, comment on it or, if you like, cotinue it. Ok, here goes...


The seer gzed into the fire and started to speak, paying no attention to the gathering crowd. " there will be born a child who, in adulthood will be a great warrior. He will turn the tide of war but will die on the battlefield, for such is the fate of the chosen one. His name will be..." The seer faltered. He had been dreading this. " Will be.." He took a deep breath. "Will be.. Douglas McDermatFloofyIII!" There was an awkward silence. There was some more awkward silence. It continued for a long time, broken only by someone muttering "Poor sod."
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I'm going to need a swat team, ready to mobilize, street maps covering the whole of florida, a pot of coffee, 12 jammy dodgers and A FEZ.
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Postby Tonyblack » Mon Aug 03, 2009 1:23 pm

:lol: A name like that is likely to make anyone a fighter. A bit like 'Boy Named Sue' by Johnny Cash.

I like it! :D
"Goodness is about what you do. Not what you pray to."
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Postby poohbcarrot » Mon Aug 03, 2009 1:36 pm

It's got potential. :D

But if the seer was paying no attention to the gathering crowd, why did he falter? :?
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Postby bikkit » Mon Aug 03, 2009 1:43 pm

He noticed them, sorry, didn't spot that :oops:
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Postby chris.ph » Mon Aug 03, 2009 5:31 pm

stop being an english teacher pooh :lol:
measuring intelligence by exam results is like measuring digestion by turd length
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Postby Tina a.k.a.SusanSto.Helit » Mon Aug 03, 2009 5:45 pm

No red pencil allowed Nice story WeeKelda, I like it. :D
Aha! So, Bob's yer uncle... very clever.
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Postby Jan Van Quirm » Mon Aug 03, 2009 7:29 pm

:lol: VG - parents be very careful what name you saddle your kids with!
"Some men see things as they are and ask why. Others dream things that never were and ask why not.” George Bernard Shaw
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Postby WannabeAngua » Mon Aug 03, 2009 7:48 pm

Nice one, Kelda :D
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Postby poohbcarrot » Mon Aug 03, 2009 11:49 pm

chris.ph wrote:stop being an english teacher pooh :lol:


She asked for criticism! :lol:
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Postby AgnesOgg » Tue Aug 04, 2009 6:24 pm

What happens next? :)
no, it`s a hippopotamus!
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Postby bikkit » Tue Aug 04, 2009 6:38 pm

You can continue it, if you like.
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Postby Bouncy Castle » Tue Aug 04, 2009 7:11 pm

This is my small writing.


Writing.


I'll get me coat..............
Some are born great, some achieve greatness and some have greatness thrust upon them.

The rest of us are a bit crap.
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Postby Tonyblack » Tue Aug 04, 2009 7:20 pm

Bouncy Castle wrote:This is my small writing.


Writing.


I'll get me coat..............
Take an umbrella as well - it's raining! :lol:
"Goodness is about what you do. Not what you pray to."
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Postby poohbcarrot » Wed Aug 05, 2009 3:01 am

WeeKelda wrote:You can continue it, if you like.


Suddenly the silence was rent asunder by a piercing scream as a robed figure, sandals flailing, ran off and disappeared into the night,

"OHSHITOHSHITohshitohshitohshitohshit......"

"Who were that?"

"That were old Douglas McDermatFloofy II. 'e were only 'ere 'cos 'is wife's in labour and the birthin' 'ag told 'im to make 'imself scarce. 'e told me wanted to go back an' find the baby'd been borned an' named an' all done an' dusted"

"So what d'y' reck'n 'is problem is, then?"

"Dunno. Probably left the tap runnin' or summat."

"Oh yeah. Right. 'ere, did I tell you 'bout the turnip I 'ad for dinner last night?"

"You 'ad turnip?!" You lucky bleeder!. We 'ad mud an' old boots again!"
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Postby bikkit » Wed Aug 05, 2009 6:34 am

:lol: :lol: :lol:
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