Okay, so it's not my first post. But I haven't been properly hazed yet (oh yes, I saw the whips and paddles in the corner. Don't think you can hide them.), nor formally introduced myself. I figure that since everyone will soon be well-acquainted with my buttocks--the part of them holding the paddle anyway--it's only polite to properly introduce myself. Sort of like those two minutes of awkward chit-chat before the hooker... I've said too much.
Anyway, my name is Matt--which I'm sure the more cranially-gifted of you have figured out by now. I'm studying dietetics at a college close to Philly, one of the fattest cities in the country. Some days I feel like a lion let loose in a cage full of gazelles: there are so many excellent choices around that I don't know where to start.
My brother first got me into Terry Pratchett. He gave me a copy of The Colour of Magic (obligatory "u" in "color" for you silly Brits) when I was living out in Colorado. I made short work of his collection and quickly read most of the other books in the Discworld series. I still haven't read them all, but they've been a great inspiration in my own writing and my outlook in general.
There... now that the introductions are over I guess we should get down to business.
--Oh, you want me to start? Please sir, may I have another? Wait, I haven't had one yet, how exactly can I want another?--
--I'm just saying, it seems like putting the cart before the horse.--
--No, you're right. Your paddle, your rules.--
I thought John Oliver did that piece about renting the English language though?
