Introduction

(For General Discussion)

Moderators: Jason, Toothy, Tonyblack

Introduction

Postby MattK » Sun Jul 05, 2009 12:12 pm

Okay, so it's not my first post. But I haven't been properly hazed yet (oh yes, I saw the whips and paddles in the corner. Don't think you can hide them.), nor formally introduced myself. I figure that since everyone will soon be well-acquainted with my buttocks--the part of them holding the paddle anyway--it's only polite to properly introduce myself. Sort of like those two minutes of awkward chit-chat before the hooker... I've said too much.

Anyway, my name is Matt--which I'm sure the more cranially-gifted of you have figured out by now. I'm studying dietetics at a college close to Philly, one of the fattest cities in the country. Some days I feel like a lion let loose in a cage full of gazelles: there are so many excellent choices around that I don't know where to start.

My brother first got me into Terry Pratchett. He gave me a copy of The Colour of Magic (obligatory "u" in "color" for you silly Brits) when I was living out in Colorado. I made short work of his collection and quickly read most of the other books in the Discworld series. I still haven't read them all, but they've been a great inspiration in my own writing and my outlook in general.

There... now that the introductions are over I guess we should get down to business.

--Oh, you want me to start? Please sir, may I have another? Wait, I haven't had one yet, how exactly can I want another?--
--I'm just saying, it seems like putting the cart before the horse.--
--No, you're right. Your paddle, your rules.--
It is said that your life flashes before your eyes just before you die. That is true, it's called Life. [The Last Continent]
MattK
Member
 
Posts: 154
Joined: Wed Jul 01, 2009 11:27 pm
Location: Lancaster, PA

Re: Introduction

Postby poohbcarrot » Sun Jul 05, 2009 12:21 pm

MattK wrote:Sort of like those two minutes of awkward chit-chat before the hooker... I've said too much.


2 minutes? You smooth-talking, silver-tongued Casanunder! It usually takes me 5 seconds....Eeek! I've said too much now. :lol:
Image
"It's better to belong where you don't belong than not to belong where you used to belong,
remembering when you used to belong there"
-Sneebs
poohbcarrot
Member
 
Posts: 1557
Joined: Wed Dec 31, 2008 4:15 pm
Location: Japan

Postby Tonyblack » Sun Jul 05, 2009 12:21 pm

Pleased to meet you (formally) Matt. We don't use paddles here, but Jason has a big stick with spikes in. :shock: :lol:
"Goodness is about what you do. Not what you pray to."
User avatar
Tonyblack
Moderator
 
Posts: 28662
Joined: Fri Jul 25, 2008 4:29 pm
Location: Cardiff, Wales

Postby Jan Van Quirm » Sun Jul 05, 2009 1:25 pm

*slightly lost in the inferrred image of Jason wielding the big stick with spikes*

Nice to meet you some more Matt

5 secs pooh? - so eager :twisted:
"Some men see things as they are and ask why. Others dream things that never were and ask why not.” George Bernard Shaw
User avatar
Jan Van Quirm
Member
 
Posts: 10321
Joined: Fri Nov 07, 2008 9:07 pm
Location: Dunheved, Kernow

Re: Introduction

Postby Batty » Sun Jul 05, 2009 1:31 pm

MattK wrote:I figure that since everyone will soon be well-acquainted with my buttocks--the part of them holding the paddle anyway--it's only polite to properly introduce myself...
There... now that the introductions are over I guess we should get down to business.

--No, you're right. Your paddle, your rules.--

Hi MattK. Image I'm sure we can be more inventive than a big stick with spikes in it ... Image
Going to my school was an education in itself. Which is not to be confused with actually getting an education (Schultz)
User avatar
Batty
Member
 
Posts: 4613
Joined: Tue Feb 17, 2009 12:03 pm
Location: East Anglia

Re: Introduction

Postby Batty » Sun Jul 05, 2009 1:38 pm

poohbcarrot wrote:2 minutes? You smooth-talking, silver-tongued Casanunder! It usually takes me 5 seconds....Eeek! I've said too much now. :lol:

5 seconds, pooh? Are you counting the foreplay? Image
Going to my school was an education in itself. Which is not to be confused with actually getting an education (Schultz)
User avatar
Batty
Member
 
Posts: 4613
Joined: Tue Feb 17, 2009 12:03 pm
Location: East Anglia

Re: Introduction

Postby MattK » Sun Jul 05, 2009 1:56 pm

Batty wrote:Hi MattK. Image I'm sure we can be more inventive than a big stick with spikes in it ... Image


Eep. Image
It is said that your life flashes before your eyes just before you die. That is true, it's called Life. [The Last Continent]
MattK
Member
 
Posts: 154
Joined: Wed Jul 01, 2009 11:27 pm
Location: Lancaster, PA

Postby Tonyblack » Sun Jul 05, 2009 1:57 pm

:lol: PMSL
"Goodness is about what you do. Not what you pray to."
User avatar
Tonyblack
Moderator
 
Posts: 28662
Joined: Fri Jul 25, 2008 4:29 pm
Location: Cardiff, Wales

Re: Introduction

Postby poohbcarrot » Sun Jul 05, 2009 2:27 pm

Batty wrote:
poohbcarrot wrote:2 minutes? You smooth-talking, silver-tongued Casanunder! It usually takes me 5 seconds....Eeek! I've said too much now. :lol:

5 seconds, pooh? Are you counting the foreplay? Image


The foreplay is taking my socks off! :lol:
Image
"It's better to belong where you don't belong than not to belong where you used to belong,
remembering when you used to belong there"
-Sneebs
poohbcarrot
Member
 
Posts: 1557
Joined: Wed Dec 31, 2008 4:15 pm
Location: Japan

Re: Introduction

Postby Dotsie » Mon Jul 06, 2009 7:49 am

MattK wrote: I figure that since everyone will soon be well-acquainted with my buttocks--the part of them holding the paddle anyway--


You can hold a paddle with your bum cheeks? What a talented man you are! And most welcome here! Just keep your socks on please (you too pooh)
What's up with this glass? Excuse me? Excuse me? This is my glass? I don't think so. My glass was full! And it was a bigger glass!
User avatar
Dotsie
Member
 
Posts: 9387
Joined: Mon Jul 28, 2008 11:07 am

Re: Introduction

Postby Batty » Mon Jul 06, 2009 1:05 pm

poohbcarrot wrote:
Batty wrote:
poohbcarrot wrote:2 minutes? You smooth-talking, silver-tongued Casanunder! It usually takes me 5 seconds....Eeek! I've said too much now. :lol:

5 seconds, pooh? Are you counting the foreplay? Image


The foreplay is taking my socks off! :lol:

Image It's good to know that you've been properly brought up and taught good manners!
Going to my school was an education in itself. Which is not to be confused with actually getting an education (Schultz)
User avatar
Batty
Member
 
Posts: 4613
Joined: Tue Feb 17, 2009 12:03 pm
Location: East Anglia

Re: Introduction

Postby Stultus Saxum » Mon Jul 06, 2009 2:02 pm

Hi Matt, you dietetetician, you (there's a sense of continununuum in that word)

Funny that you say the silly Brits have an obligatory "u". It is obligatory. It makes the word sound like kuh ler instead of collor (as in Colorado, which you use in the same sentence.

MattK wrote:...My brother first got me into Terry Pratchett. He gave me a copy of The Colour of Magic (obligatory "u" in "color" for you silly Brits) when I was living out in Colorado...


p.s. I write this as a Canadian and we spell it the same way as the silly Brits... and we still have Her Majesty on our coins. None of this independence nonsesnse...

:wink:

p.p.s. I hope you watch the Daily Show and, more specifically an edition in February discussing Canadians (Sam Bee) and Indians (Asif Mandvi) paying rent for the use of the English language. I'd post a link, but we're not allowed to look at it online in the UK.
Stultus Saxum
Member
 
Posts: 116
Joined: Thu Mar 12, 2009 11:07 am
Location: Darkest West Sussex

Postby MattK » Mon Jul 06, 2009 2:57 pm

I did see that episode, it was excellent. :) I thought John Oliver did that piece about renting the English language though?

I'd say silly Canadians too, but I'm not too fond of the French-Canadian side after they almost didn't let my cousin and I into the country.

Can't we just blame the Romans for trying to fit their alphabet to our language, and shoving in weird letter combinations where nothing else worked? There are still a lot of words that people never seem to agree on a pronunciation for, like orange. (oar-ange, or are-ange?)
It is said that your life flashes before your eyes just before you die. That is true, it's called Life. [The Last Continent]
MattK
Member
 
Posts: 154
Joined: Wed Jul 01, 2009 11:27 pm
Location: Lancaster, PA

Postby chris.ph » Mon Jul 06, 2009 4:43 pm

there are basically two different types of english , proper english and that americanized english the upstarts use on the other side of the pond :wink:
measuring intelligence by exam results is like measuring digestion by turd length
User avatar
chris.ph
Member
 
Posts: 8463
Joined: Tue Aug 12, 2008 11:52 am
Location: swansea south wales

Postby Cheery » Mon Jul 06, 2009 6:57 pm

I have a bit of a problem with the australian accent. I didn't mean an offence, but i don't understand a word. (I had to look the film "Australia" about three times 'till I got everything...)
User avatar
Cheery
Member
 
Posts: 1544
Joined: Mon Jun 22, 2009 4:19 pm
Location: Switzerland

Next

Return to The Broken Drum

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: Google [Bot], TurnitinBot [Bot] and 5 guests