What made you smile today? 8

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Re: What made you smile today? 8

Postby Watchman44 » Mon Dec 16, 2013 7:20 pm

Image
Who watches the watchman.......
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Re: What made you smile today? 8

Postby Watchman44 » Mon Dec 16, 2013 8:33 pm

Who watches the watchman.......
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Re: What made you smile today? 8

Postby Ghost » Mon Dec 16, 2013 8:52 pm

awww
Ooh you cheeky little sea winkle
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Re: What made you smile today? 8

Postby Who's Wee Dug » Mon Dec 16, 2013 9:09 pm

That's a happy ending. :mrgreen:
He willnae tak' a drink! I think he's deid! , on the other hand though A Midgie in yir hand is worth twa up yir kilt.
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Re: What made you smile today? 8

Postby wicked woman » Mon Dec 16, 2013 10:05 pm

Aaawww.
Of all the forces in the universe, the hardest to overcome is the force of habit. Gravity is easy-peasy by comparison.
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Re: What made you smile today? 8

Postby The Mad Collector » Mon Dec 16, 2013 10:29 pm

Great story :D
One of those? Oh I'm sure I have one somewhere..

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Re: What made you smile today? 8

Postby Conforumist » Tue Dec 17, 2013 12:00 am

Yes, it's a "religious" thing; but it's a cool story,

The Tablecloth

The brand new pastor and his wife, newly assigned
to their first ministry, to reopen a church
in suburban Brooklyn , arrived in early October
excited about their opportunities. When they saw
their church, it was very run down and needed
much work. They set a goal to have everything
done in time to have their first service
on Christmas Eve.


They worked hard, repairing pews, plastering walls,
painting, etc, and on December 18
were ahead of schedule and just about finished.

On December 19 a terrible tempest - a driving
rainstorm - hit the area and lasted for two days.

On the 21st, the pastor went over to the church.
His heart sank when he saw that the roof had
leaked, causing a large area of plaster about
20 feet by 8 feet to fall off the front wall
of the sanctuary just behind the pulpit, beginning about head high.


The pastor cleaned up the mess on the floor,
and not knowing what else to do but postpone
the Christmas Eve service, headed home.
On the way he noticed that a local business was
having a flea market type sale for charity, so he
stopped in. One of the items was a beautiful,
handmade, ivory colored, crocheted tablecloth
with exquisite work, fine colors and a Cross
embroidered right in the center. It was just
the right size to cover the hole in the front
wall. He bought it and headed back to the church.

By this time it had started to snow. An older
woman running from the opposite direction was
trying to catch the bus. She missed it. The pastor
invited her to wait in the warm church for
the next bus 45 minutes later.



She sat in a pew and paid no attention to the pastor
while he got a ladder, hangers, etc., to put
up the tablecloth as a wall tapestry. The pastor
could hardly believe how beautiful it looked and
it covered up the entire problem area.

Then he noticed the woman walking down the center
aisle. Her face was like a sheet. "Pastor,"
she asked, "where did you get that tablecloth?"
The pastor explained. The woman asked him to check
the lower right corner to see if the initials 'EBG' were crocheted into
it there. They were. These were the initials of the woman, and she had
made this tablecloth 35 years before, in Austria .

The woman could hardly believe it as the pastor
told how he had just gotten "The Tablecloth". The
woman explained that before the war she and
her husband were well-to-do people in Austria

When the Nazis came, she was forced to leave.
Her husband was going to follow her the next week.
He was captured, sent to prison and she never saw her
husband or her home again.

The pastor wanted to give her the tablecloth;
but she made the pastor keep it for the church.
The pastor insisted on driving her home. That
was the least he could do. She lived on the other
side of Staten Island and was only in Brooklyn
for the day for a housecleaning job.

What a wonderful service they had on Christmas
Eve. The church was almost full. The music and the
spirit were great. At the end of the service, the
pastor and his wife greeted everyone at the door
and many said that they would return.

One older man, whom the pastor recognized
from the neighborhood, continued to sit in one of the
pews and stare, and the pastor wondered why he
wasn't leaving.

The man asked him where he got the tablecloth on
the front wall because it was identical to one
that his wife had made years ago when
they lived in Austria before the war and how
could there be two tablecloths so much alike?

He told the pastor how the Nazis came, how he
forced his wife to flee for her safety and he was
supposed to follow her, but he was arrested and
put in a prison. He never saw his wife or his home
again in all the 35 years between.

The pastor asked him if he would allow him to
take him for a little ride. They drove to Staten
Island and to the same house where the pastor
had taken the woman three days earlier.

He helped the man climb the three flights of
stairs to the woman's apartment, knocked on
the door and he saw the greatest Christmas
reunion he could ever imagine.

True story - submitted by Pastor Rob Reid
who says God does work in mysterious ways.
I asked the Lord to bless you as I prayed for
you today, to guide you and protect you as you go
along your way. His love is always with you. His
promises are true, and when we give Him all our
cares we know He will see us through.
The greatest things in life are not things.
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Re: What made you smile today? 8

Postby The Mad Collector » Tue Dec 17, 2013 8:47 am

Original version from Snopes which makes an interesting comparison to the one above

http://www.snopes.com/glurge/tablecloth.asp
One of those? Oh I'm sure I have one somewhere..

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Re: What made you smile today? 8

Postby Conforumist » Tue Dec 17, 2013 10:55 am

The Mad Collector wrote:Original version from Snopes which makes an interesting comparison to the one above

http://www.snopes.com/glurge/tablecloth.asp


Interesting,

Wifey sent it to me via email last week. I don't know where she got it from.
The greatest things in life are not things.
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Re: What made you smile today? 8

Postby Catch-up » Tue Dec 17, 2013 1:27 pm



Awww! You know, the first thing I thought when I saw the picture was that it looked like a lion, not a bear. That is one well loved stuffie! :D
“It is the peculiar nature of the world to go on spinning no matter what sort of heartbreak is happening.”
― Sue Monk Kidd, The Secret Life of Bees:
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Re: What made you smile today? 8

Postby Bouncy Castle » Wed Dec 18, 2013 12:08 pm

This made me smile. Got it in an email. Seen them before, but still makes me chuckle.

Extracts from letters written by tenants to property managers:

1. It's the dogs mess that I find hard to swallow.

2. I want some repairs done to my stove top as it has backfired and burnt my knob off.

3.. I wish to complain that my father twisted his ankle very badly when he put his foot in the hole in his back passage.

4. The next door neighbours 18 year old son is continually banging his balls against my fence.

5. I wish to report that tiles are missing from the outside toilet roof. I think it was bad wind the other day that blew them off.

6.. My lavatory seat is cracked, where do I stand?

7. I am writing on behalf of my sink, which is coming away from the wall.

8. Will you please send someone to mend the garden path. My wife tripped and fell on it yesterday and now she is pregnant.

9. I request permission to remove my drawers in the kitchen...

10. 50% of the walls are damp, 50% have crumbling plaster, and 50% are just plain filthy.

11. The next door neighbours has this huge tool that vibrates the whole house and I just can't take it anymore.

12. The toilet is blocked and we cannot bath the children until it is cleared.

13. Will you please send a man to look at my water, it is a funny colour and not fit to drink.

14. I want to complain about the home owner across the road. Every morning at 6am his cock wakes me up and it's now getting too much for me.

15. The man next door has a large erection in the back garden, which is unsightly and dangerous.

16. Our kitchen floor is damp. We have two children and would like a third, so please send someone round to do something about it.

17. As you know I am a single woman living in a downstairs flat, would you please do something about the noise made by the man on top of me every night.

19. Please send a man with the right tool to finish the job and satisfy my wife..

20. My bush is really overgrown round the front and my back passage has fungus growing in it.
Some are born great, some achieve greatness and some have greatness thrust upon them.

The rest of us are a bit crap.
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Re: What made you smile today? 8

Postby Penfold » Wed Dec 18, 2013 12:10 pm

:lol: :lol: :lol:
The difference between fiction and reality? Fiction has to make sense.
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Re: What made you smile today? 8

Postby Ghost » Wed Dec 18, 2013 2:01 pm

:doh: :clap: :clap:
Ooh you cheeky little sea winkle
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Re: What made you smile today? 8

Postby The Mad Collector » Wed Dec 18, 2013 3:44 pm

:lol: :lol: :lol:
One of those? Oh I'm sure I have one somewhere..

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Re: What made you smile today? 8

Postby chris.ph » Wed Dec 18, 2013 4:36 pm

:lol: :lol: :lol:
measuring intelligence by exam results is like measuring digestion by turd length
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