Okay, I'll try not to be melodramatic.
Some of you may have noticed that I have been on here less and less. This is not because I have less time to be here, but because I have less inclination to be here. Not because of the company, but because I find myself lacking things to say, and too preoccupied to deal with anything remotely resembling social activity.
I joined this forum about two and a half years ago after my attempt to write for the first TP Prize went nowhere. After a very rocky start, I eventually became a more moderate member. However, a number of events of late IRL have been telling on me, psychologically. One of these reasons, and one of the only ones I wish to discuss on this forum, is my writing ability. I received a blow to my confidence about it when I learned that I didn't even make the shortlist for the current TP Prize, and my writing ability seems to have been going down since then. I struggle to even be remotely satisfied with my writing, and I have very few avenues to publish my works, let alone make a career out of it.
In addition, there is a book I have been working on in various iterations for the past 6 years, and I've just about had enough of working on it. I can't get the f***ing thing to work, to come alive, and there are too many authors out there who can write a hundred times better than I can with a hundredth of the effort. The same goes for a number of novels I have in my stable. The only one remotely publishable is the one I did for the TP Prize, and even THAT one I want to redo from scratch.
I am also having a lot of trouble getting any enjoyment out of life. This has been a major problem for some time, and it's getting worse and worse.
So, for the time being, I'm probably not going to visit these forums. I probably will attend the Pratchett Partisans meet-up in Brisbane in early July, but until I have a breakthrough with this bloody novel, I don't think I can waste time on socialising, never mind being civil enough for it.
Be seeing you.
Four minutes? That's ages! What if I get bored? I need a television, a couple of books. Anyone for chess? Bring me knitting.
-The Eighth Doctor, defiant in the face of death, in Doctor Who: The Night of the Doctor