Bill Roach, Jim Davidson, Rolf Harris, Stuart Hall and Freddie Starr. You have to admit, the prison panto is looking good this year!
pip wrote:He gets giddy at anything new to be honest
Bouncy Castle wrote:Fifty Shades of Grey (a husband’s point of view) By Pam Ayres
The missus bought a Paperback,
Down Shepton Mallet way,
I had a look inside her bag:
… T’was “Fifty Shades of Grey”.
Well I just left her to it,
and at ten I went to bed.
An hour later she appeared;
The sight filled me with dread…
In her left she held a rope;
and in her right a whip!
She threw them down upon the floor,
And then began to strip.
Well fifty years or so ago;
I might have had a peek;
But Mabel hasn’t weathered well;
She’s eighty four next week!!
Watching Mabel bump and grind;
Could not have been much grimmer.
And things then went from bad to worse;
She toppled off her Zimmer!
She struggled back upon her feet;
A couple of minutes later;
She put her teeth back in and said
“I am a dominator !!”
Now if you knew our Mabel,
You’d see just why I spluttered,
I’d spent two months in traction
For the last complaint I had uttered.
She stood there nude and naked
Bent forward just a bit
I went to hold her, sensual like
and stood on her left tit!
Mabel screamed, her teeth shot out;
My god what had I done!?
She moaned and groaned then shouted out:
“Step on the other one”!!
Well readers, I can’t tell no more;
About what occurred that day.
Suffice to say my jet black hair,
Turned fifty shades of grey.
ChristianBecker wrote:Rhythm and rhyme are a bit off (in what universe is "appeared" a valid rhyme to "dread"?) but funny.
I'm not familiar with Pam Ayres neither with his accent. Might have to check it out.
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