How do you feel today? 5

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Re: How do you feel today? 5

Postby raisindot » Tue Jun 18, 2013 12:59 pm

This has been one absolutely emotional roller coaster of a week and a half.

On Sunday (the 9th) my son graduated from high school.

On Monday the 10th my wife lost her favorite uncle (her mother's brother) to a long bout with cancer.

On Friday, her father (my father in law) died after a long, debilitating illness.

Both men were both very old (90 and 88, respectively), their deaths were expected, they led long, accomplished lives and were very vital and active until their last year or so, and they were fortunate enough to die home surrounded by loved ones.
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Re: How do you feel today? 5

Postby Batty » Tue Jun 18, 2013 1:08 pm

It's at times like this that you don't know whether to grieve or celebrate their lives and the contribution they had on you and your family.
They are no longer suffering and had a loving, happy family around them. ((HUGS)) to you and yours, raisindot.
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Re: How do you feel today? 5

Postby Tonyblack » Tue Jun 18, 2013 1:12 pm

Celebrate their lives I hope. I think I'd rather people remembered me for good times than missed me.

But I am sorry for your rollercoaster, Jeff. *HUGS*
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Re: How do you feel today? 5

Postby raisindot » Tue Jun 18, 2013 1:27 pm

Thank you, Tony and Batty.

That's exactly what we've been doing, and it's helped us through this.

The most bizarre thing happened last night at the "shiva" (a kind of Jewish open house where people come to pay their respects; in some ways like a wake but it happens after burial), my mother in law's former neighbor (who didn't know what happened), a rather crazy drunk who now lives in Florida and calls her all the time, almost always sussed, called at 9:30 last night to ask if she and my father in law had had a good Father's Day.

My mother in law, gods bless her, answered, straight-faced, "Well, it really wasn't one of the best ones we've had."

Sometimes you need a bit of black humor to relieve a situation....
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Re: How do you feel today? 5

Postby Tonyblack » Tue Jun 18, 2013 1:34 pm

Absolutely - Black humour helps a great deal. My mother died a few months back - just before her birthday and Mother's Day. I said: "well that's two presents I won't have to buy!" It got a bigger chuckle than I expected.
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Re: How do you feel today? 5

Postby Dotsie » Tue Jun 18, 2013 2:43 pm

Hope your missus is doing OK Jib. Sounds like a heavy week.
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Re: How do you feel today? 5

Postby Catch-up » Tue Jun 18, 2013 2:52 pm

Square12 wrote:
Catch-up wrote:Dotsie, Kin, thanks! :D After today I feel positive it was the right decision. She wanted to take Blue for a really long walk first thing this morning and they both loved it! Had a dicey moment when he went after a squirrel, but she thankfully thought fast and let go of the leash so she didn't get pulled down. From that point on, if we saw a squirrel ahead she would hand the leash to me. Not that he couldn't take me down, but better me than her.

I think my cousins 2 year old male husky got a massive shock when I was visiting them and decided to join them for their walk, as I was holding his leash when he spotted a cat sitting on a fence. The look on his face when his leash suddenly went taut and instead of pulling my fairly frail female cousin along with him, he got stopped in his tracks was priceless, bear in mind I'm 6'1" broad shouldered and a bit overweight, it still took an effort on my part to hold him!


:lol: You're lucky you don't live close to me or I would be recruiting you for walks!
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Re: How do you feel today? 5

Postby Catch-up » Tue Jun 18, 2013 2:53 pm

raisindot wrote:This has been one absolutely emotional roller coaster of a week and a half.

On Sunday (the 9th) my son graduated from high school.

On Monday the 10th my wife lost her favorite uncle (her mother's brother) to a long bout with cancer.

On Friday, her father (my father in law) died after a long, debilitating illness.

Both men were both very old (90 and 88, respectively), their deaths were expected, they led long, accomplished lives and were very vital and active until their last year or so, and they were fortunate enough to die home surrounded by loved ones.


Huge hugs for you and your family! It's stressful to deal with so much in such a short time. I love that your mother in law was able to find a little humor to relieve an awkward conversation.
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Re: How do you feel today? 5

Postby Bouncy Castle » Tue Jun 18, 2013 3:08 pm

Hugs Raisin.
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Re: How do you feel today? 5

Postby wicked woman » Tue Jun 18, 2013 3:15 pm

Hugs to you and your wife and family raisin.
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Re: How do you feel today? 5

Postby The Mad Collector » Tue Jun 18, 2013 3:23 pm

My condolences to you and yours Raisindot and congratulations to your son.
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Re: How do you feel today? 5

Postby janet » Tue Jun 18, 2013 3:54 pm

Best wishes to you and you family Raisin. There is a great deal to be said in favour of the custom of having the funeral so soon after a death ( I know it's for religious reasons). In UK it seems the interval is prolonged to the extent that a huge strain is put on the family before they can bid their formal goodbyes and begin to move forward.
My grandma, who didn't quite make it to 100 but tried, nursed all 8 of her sisters and brothers, my grandpa and several cousins and in-laws. She invited anyone who wished to gather at her home after Grandpa's funeral where she'd put on her usual spread of tea, sandwiches, cakes etc. Somehow we all ended up helpless with laughter just remembering how Pa would play the fool to liven up family gatherings.....and we completed the day playing endless card games which Pa would have loved. Celebrate life!
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Re: How do you feel today? 5

Postby Penfold » Tue Jun 18, 2013 4:37 pm

I can't really add to what has already been said, Jib, apart from offering my condolences for your loss and congratulations to your son.
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Re: How do you feel today? 5

Postby raptornx01 » Tue Jun 18, 2013 4:40 pm

Condolences, Raisin. Wish your family the best.

And I agree, black humor and celebrating their lives are the best way, IMO.
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Re: How do you feel today? 5

Postby Who's Wee Dug » Tue Jun 18, 2013 5:46 pm

I can only add mine to what has been said Rasin.
He willnae tak' a drink! I think he's deid! , on the other hand though A Midgie in yir hand is worth twa up yir kilt.
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