Yukiji:I can't take it anymore. I just can't!! He's driving me nuts!!
Yukiji's friend: You have the worst luck with men, I swear.
Yukiji: He doesn't do a single thing I tell him. If I say right, he goes left. If I say left, he goes right.
Yukiji's friend: Well, you can't just expect to boss 'em around.
Yukiji: I'm sick of it. I take my eyes off of him for one second, he's gone.
Yukiji's friend: Yeah, and you go looking for him, that's the problem. Let him chase you.
Yukiji: (slamming fist on table) I can't take it!! On top of everything else, he has this nasty habit...
Yukiji's friend: Nasty habit?
Yukiji: Of sticking his face in my crotch and licking me!! Every single day!!
Yukiji's friend: No way...
Yukiji: I'm totally serious!! Plus, if I don't watch out, he goes and pees on me too!!
Yukiji's friend: I've...HEARD of that, but my God, I never thought any of my friends would experience it!!
Yukiji: He gets horny and starts humping my leg, in public!!
Yukiji's friend: UGH!! There's nothing to think about here, just DUMP the bastard...
Yukiji: I wish I could dump him, that stupid dog!!
Yukiji's friend: (after a brief pause) Dog?
Yukiji: I mean, how does a loser dog like him get on the job? And why do I have to be his handler?
Yukiji's friend: Hmmm, I never thought about that aspect of being a narc...
Yukiji: I've told you a thousand times, I'm not a narc!! I'm just a regular customs officer, okay?! I just happen to handle a sniffer dog, okay?!