Jokes

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Re: Jokes

Postby Dotsie » Mon Jun 17, 2013 11:30 am

You hate golfers? Wow. You wouldn't like Mr Dotsie at all then.
What's up with this glass? Excuse me? Excuse me? This is my glass? I don't think so. My glass was full! And it was a bigger glass!
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Re: Jokes

Postby Ghost » Mon Jun 17, 2013 11:42 am

Tonyblack wrote:What an arse! :lol: Typical golfer. I hate golfers. :lol:

I'm with you Tony the horticultural collage I went to was right next to a golf course and the bastImageds
used to use us students as target practiseImage
Waxing is not a cure for lycanthropy
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Re: Jokes

Postby Tonyblack » Mon Jun 17, 2013 12:11 pm

Dotsie wrote:You hate golfers? Wow. You wouldn't like Mr Dotsie at all then.

Keep him away from me, Dotsie! :lol:
"Goodness is about what you do. Not what you pray to."
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Re: Jokes

Postby Bouncy Castle » Mon Jun 17, 2013 12:26 pm

The golfers in the pub I used to drink in used to call the game
Spoiler: show
"Whoosh. Bollocks".
Some are born great, some achieve greatness and some have greatness thrust upon them.

The rest of us are a bit crap.
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Re: Jokes

Postby Joolz » Tue Jun 18, 2013 1:15 pm

While Jim Apple was struggling to introduce himself in Paris and Gordon Morgan was getting nowhere fast at breakfast in Munich, it was an equally troublesome beginning to his business meeting in Madrid for Ben Osdias
Tune the world out, turn the radio up
Sing along to my freedom song
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Re: Jokes

Postby Tonyblack » Tue Jun 18, 2013 1:35 pm

:lol: :lol: :lol: Took me a while, but I got there in the end.
"Goodness is about what you do. Not what you pray to."
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Re: Jokes

Postby Bouncy Castle » Tue Jun 18, 2013 1:39 pm

What Tony said.
Some are born great, some achieve greatness and some have greatness thrust upon them.

The rest of us are a bit crap.
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Re: Jokes

Postby Square12 » Tue Jun 18, 2013 1:52 pm

I'm completely lost I'm afraid
If you can fill the unforgiving minute,
With sixty seconds worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And - which is more - you'll be a man my son.
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Re: Jokes

Postby pip » Tue Jun 18, 2013 1:53 pm

Took me a minute :roll: :lol:
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Re: Jokes

Postby Tonyblack » Tue Jun 18, 2013 1:58 pm

Square12 wrote:I'm completely lost I'm afraid

Try reading it out loud. ;)
"Goodness is about what you do. Not what you pray to."
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Re: Jokes

Postby Square12 » Tue Jun 18, 2013 1:58 pm

Ok now I get it, my pronunciation was throwing me by being too literal if that makes sense
If you can fill the unforgiving minute,
With sixty seconds worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And - which is more - you'll be a man my son.
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Re: Jokes

Postby The Mad Collector » Tue Jun 18, 2013 3:17 pm

:lol:
One of those? Oh I'm sure I have one somewhere..

http://www.bearsonthesquare.com
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Re: Jokes

Postby jaznbonnie » Tue Jun 18, 2013 6:09 pm

An attractive blonde from Cork, Ireland, arrived at the casino. She seemed a little intoxicated and bet twenty thousand dollars in a single roll of the dice.

She said, "I hope you don't mind, but I feel much luckier when I'm completely nude." with that, she stripped from the neck down, rolled the dice and with an Irish brogue yelled, "Come on, baby, Mama needs new clothes!"As the dice came to a stop, she jumped up and down and squealed. "Yes! Yes! I won, I won!" She hugged each of the dealers, picked up her winnings and her clothes and quickly departed.

The dealers stared at each other dumbfounded.Finally, one of them asked, "What did she roll?" The other answered, "I don't know - I thought you were watching."

MORAL OF THE STORY

Not all Irish are drunks, not all blondes are dumb,
..... but all men...are men!
Be careful what you wish for as you just might get it.
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Re: Jokes

Postby Who's Wee Dug » Tue Jun 18, 2013 6:16 pm

:lol: :mrgreen:
He willnae tak' a drink! I think he's deid! , on the other hand though A Midgie in yir hand is worth twa up yir kilt.
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Re: Jokes

Postby The Mad Collector » Tue Jun 18, 2013 6:37 pm

:lol: :lol:
One of those? Oh I'm sure I have one somewhere..

http://www.bearsonthesquare.com
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