Jokes

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Re: Jokes

Postby SimonAtford » Tue Jan 08, 2013 12:07 pm

A horse walks into a pub and the barman says "why the long face?" and the horse says nothing because it is a horse and can't talk.

Or

A horse walks into a pub and the barman calls the RSPCA and the owner of the horse was later prosecuted.
Keep calm and prepare to hack!

http://www.yecompaynyeofcheualrye.com/cc/

Stop...

Carry on!
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Re: Jokes

Postby Del » Tue Jan 08, 2013 6:32 pm

:lol: :lol: :lol:

See... I love those. :lol:
Just keep swimming... just keep swimming.. just keep swimming....
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Re: Jokes

Postby Who's Wee Dug » Wed Jan 09, 2013 8:56 pm

SHORT, PITHY & very NON-PC

The human body has 7 trillion nerves.

My wife manages to get on every kin one of them!

-----------------------------------------------

Knock knock.

Who's there?

"Doorbell repair man"

--------------------------------------------------------------------

The teacher says, "OK class, I'd like you all to tell me what you need at home"

Susie says, "We need a computer"

Wendy says, "We need a car"

Johnny says, "We don't need anything Miss"

Teacher says, "Come on Johnny, everyone needs something?"

"No Miss, my sister came home with her new boyfriend and my Dad said 'That's all we kin need!'"

---------------------------------------------------------------------
Two Muslims have crashed a speedboat into the Thames Barrier in London .

Police think it might be the start of Ram-a-dam
---------------------------------------------------------------------

A bloke is watching a film with creepy organ music on the TV and suddenly yells, "Don't enter that church, you daft **** !!!"

His wife asks him, "What are you watching?"

Husband replies, "Our bloody wedding video"
-------------------------------------------------------------------

Love is like a fart.

If you have to force it, it's probably shit.

-------------------------------------------------------------------
Just seen a Dyslexic Yorkshireman wearing a cat flap!"

-----------------------------------------------------------------

I said to the wife, "Get me a newspaper"

"Don't be silly," she said "You can borrow my iPad"

That spider never knew what kin hit it.

-----------------------------------------------------------------

The 200 Polish fans arrested after yesterday's game have been found guilty of violent disorder and been deported back to England .....
He willnae tak' a drink! I think he's deid! , on the other hand though A Midgie in yir hand is worth twa up yir kilt.
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Re: Jokes

Postby Ghost » Wed Jan 09, 2013 9:00 pm

ImageImageImage
Ooh you cheeky little sea winkle
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Re: Jokes

Postby SimonAtford » Thu Jan 10, 2013 10:10 am

Did you hear about the dyslexic, agnostic insomniac?

He lay wake all night wondering if dog existed.
Keep calm and prepare to hack!

http://www.yecompaynyeofcheualrye.com/cc/

Stop...

Carry on!
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Re: Jokes

Postby ChristianBecker » Thu Jan 10, 2013 8:39 pm

Cool, you have a picard-facepalm-emoticon!
On with their heads! I'm the clown prince of fools
if you don't get the joke it's your loss
Love and laughter you see are the new currency
'cause greed's coinage is not worth a toss

Exile yourself to the unforgiving continent of Wraeclast!
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Re: Jokes

Postby Cheery » Thu Jan 10, 2013 9:01 pm

Hahaha these are all brilliant! :D
I think My favorite might be "a dyslexic man walks into a bra." XD
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Re: Jokes

Postby Cheery » Thu Jan 10, 2013 9:03 pm

I've got one :mrgreen:

How does an elephant get on a tree?

It sits on a seed and waits a hundred years.

How does an elephant get off a tree?

It sits on a leaf and waits for autumn.
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Re: Jokes

Postby Tonyblack » Fri Jan 11, 2013 4:52 am

Cheery wrote:Hahaha these are all brilliant! :D
I think My favorite might be "a dyslexic man walks into a bra." XD

How about the dyslexic pimp who opened a warehouse. :lol:
"Goodness is about what you do. Not what you pray to."
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Re: Jokes

Postby Joolz » Fri Jan 11, 2013 6:52 am

Or the dyslexic devil worshipper who sold his soul to Santa?

I have sex daily....Sorry dyslexia
Tune the world out, turn the radio up
Sing along to my freedom song
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Re: Jokes

Postby Ghost » Fri Jan 11, 2013 7:25 am

Cheery wrote:I've got one :mrgreen:

How does an elephant get on a tree?

It sits on a seed and waits a hundred years.

How does an elephant get off a tree?

It sits on a leaf and waits for autumn.

:D :D :lol:
Ooh you cheeky little sea winkle
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Re: Jokes

Postby Tonyblack » Fri Jan 11, 2013 3:09 pm

What does D.N.A. stand for?


Spoiler: show
National Dyslexic Association
;)
"Goodness is about what you do. Not what you pray to."
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Re: Jokes

Postby Ghost » Fri Jan 11, 2013 3:22 pm

"Dyslexics of the World UNTIE!"
Ooh you cheeky little sea winkle
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Re: Jokes

Postby chris.ph » Fri Jan 11, 2013 6:05 pm

think thats enough taking the mick out of dyslexics or i will have a go at alledged normal people thx
measuring intelligence by exam results is like measuring digestion by turd length
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Re: Jokes

Postby Ghost » Fri Jan 11, 2013 6:44 pm

how many average people does it take to change a light bulb?

two one to change the bulb one to hold the stepladder steady
Ooh you cheeky little sea winkle
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