Jokes

[SimonAtford]

A horse walks into a pub and the barman says "why the long face?" and the horse says nothing because it is a horse and can't talk.

Or

A horse walks into a pub and the barman calls the RSPCA and the owner of the horse was later prosecuted.

[Del]

See... I love those.

[Who's Wee Dug]

SHORT, PITHY & very NON-PC

The human body has 7 trillion nerves.

My wife manages to get on every kin one of them!

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Knock knock.

Who's there?

"Doorbell repair man"

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The teacher says, "OK class, I'd like you all to tell me what you need at home"

Susie says, "We need a computer"

Wendy says, "We need a car"

Johnny says, "We don't need anything Miss"

Teacher says, "Come on Johnny, everyone needs something?"

"No Miss, my sister came home with her new boyfriend and my Dad said 'That's all we kin need!'"

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Two Muslims have crashed a speedboat into the Thames Barrier in London .

Police think it might be the start of Ram-a-dam
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A bloke is watching a film with creepy organ music on the TV and suddenly yells, "Don't enter that church, you daft **** !!!"

His wife asks him, "What are you watching?"

Husband replies, "Our bloody wedding video"
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Love is like a fart.

If you have to force it, it's probably shit.

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Just seen a Dyslexic Yorkshireman wearing a cat flap!"

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I said to the wife, "Get me a newspaper"

"Don't be silly," she said "You can borrow my iPad"

That spider never knew what kin hit it.

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The 200 Polish fans arrested after yesterday's game have been found guilty of violent disorder and been deported back to England .....

[Ghost]

[SimonAtford]

Did you hear about the dyslexic, agnostic insomniac?

He lay wake all night wondering if dog existed.

[ChristianBecker]

Cool, you have a picard-facepalm-emoticon!

[Cheery]

Hahaha these are all brilliant!
I think My favorite might be "a dyslexic man walks into a bra." XD

[Cheery]

I've got one

How does an elephant get on a tree?

It sits on a seed and waits a hundred years.

How does an elephant get off a tree?

It sits on a leaf and waits for autumn.

[Tonyblack]

Hahaha these are all brilliant!
I think My favorite might be "a dyslexic man walks into a bra." XD

How about the dyslexic pimp who opened a warehouse.

[Joolz]

Or the dyslexic devil worshipper who sold his soul to Santa?

I have sex daily....Sorry dyslexia

[Ghost]

I've got one

How does an elephant get on a tree?

It sits on a seed and waits a hundred years.

How does an elephant get off a tree?

It sits on a leaf and waits for autumn.

[Tonyblack]

What does D.N.A. stand for?

Spoiler: show

National Dyslexic Association

[Ghost]

"Dyslexics of the World UNTIE!"

[chris.ph]

think thats enough taking the mick out of dyslexics or i will have a go at alledged normal people thx

[Ghost]

how many average people does it take to change a light bulb?

two one to change the bulb one to hold the stepladder steady