Jokes

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Re: Jokes

Postby hnorwood » Fri Mar 14, 2014 12:29 pm

:D :D
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Re: Jokes

Postby hnorwood » Fri Mar 14, 2014 12:29 pm

An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman were walking along a beach one day when
they came upon a mermaid.
"My dear, have you ever been kissed ? " asked the Englishman.
"No" she replied.
So he gave her a long passionate snog.
"Oooh that was wonderful" said the mermaid.
The Scotsman said "Lassie have ye ever had a wee cuddle, flesh against flesh ?".
"No" she replied.
So he took off his shirt and held her close.
"Oooh that was wonderful" said the mermaid.
The Irishman said "Have you ever been f***** ?"
"No" she replied
"Well you are now , the tide's gone out"
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Re: Jokes

Postby raisindot » Fri Mar 14, 2014 5:50 pm

A man walks into a bar that has a sign that says, "We serve all kinds of sandwiches here."

He walks up to the counter and says, "Give me an alligator sandwich and make it quick."

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

I wish I remember where I heard that one... :think:
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Re: Jokes

Postby Ghost » Fri Mar 14, 2014 6:04 pm

Image
Waxing is not a cure for lycanthropy
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Re: Jokes

Postby Bouncy Castle » Fri Mar 14, 2014 7:07 pm

raisindot wrote:A man walks into a bar that has a sign that says, "We serve all kinds of sandwiches here."

He walks up to the counter and says, "Give me an alligator sandwich and make it quick."

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

I wish I remember where I heard that one... :think:



Actually, the punchline is ".... make it snappy.."
Some are born great, some achieve greatness and some have greatness thrust upon them.

The rest of us are a bit crap.
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Re: Jokes

Postby mirandashell » Fri Mar 14, 2014 7:14 pm

Not when Granny Weatherwax is telling it.....
I wish I was a glow worm. A glow worm's never glum. Cos how can you be grumpy when the sun shines out your bum?

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Re: Jokes

Postby Bouncy Castle » Fri Mar 14, 2014 7:20 pm

:mrgreen: :clap:
Some are born great, some achieve greatness and some have greatness thrust upon them.

The rest of us are a bit crap.
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Re: Jokes

Postby hnorwood » Sun Mar 16, 2014 8:11 pm

Half a league, half a league,
Half a league onward,
All in the valley of Death
Rode the six hundred.



Spoiler: show
Bl**dy Sat-Nav!
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Re: Jokes

Postby Ghost » Sun Mar 16, 2014 8:12 pm

:lol:
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Re: Jokes

Postby mirandashell » Sun Mar 16, 2014 8:34 pm

:D
I wish I was a glow worm. A glow worm's never glum. Cos how can you be grumpy when the sun shines out your bum?

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Re: Jokes

Postby meerkat » Mon Mar 17, 2014 10:18 am

:lol: :lol:
Just a meerkat from The Effing Forest
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Re: Jokes

Postby Ghost » Mon Mar 17, 2014 2:05 pm

I could tell you a joke about sadomasochism, necrophilia and bestiality...

But I'd be flogging a dead horse
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Re: Jokes

Postby mirandashell » Mon Mar 17, 2014 2:56 pm

:roll:

That's terrible.

:D
I wish I was a glow worm. A glow worm's never glum. Cos how can you be grumpy when the sun shines out your bum?

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Re: Jokes

Postby Watchman44 » Sun Mar 23, 2014 4:17 pm

Two young boys walked into a pharmacy one day, picked out a box of tampons and proceeded to the checkout counter.
The pharmacist at the counter asked the older boy, 'Son, how old are you?'
'Eight', the boy replied.
The man continued, 'Do you know what these are used for?'
The boy replied, 'Not exactly, but they aren't for me. They're for him. He's my brother. He's four."
"Oh, really?" the pharmacist replied with a grin.
"Yes." the boy said. "We saw on TV that if you use these, you would be able to swim, play tennis and ride a bike. Right now, he can't do none of those."
Who watches the watchman.......
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Re: Jokes

Postby Ghost » Sun Mar 23, 2014 4:25 pm

:lol: :clap:
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