An elderly Scottish Jew decided to slow down and take up golf, so he applied for membership at the local club.
After a week he received a message that his application has been rejected. He went to the club to enquire as to why he was not eligible.
Secretary: You are aware that this is a Scottish golf club?
Scot: Aye, but I am as Scottish as you are, MacTavish.
Secretary: This means that on formal occasions we wear the kilt.
Scot: Aye, so do I.
Secretary: You are aware that we wear nothing under the kilt?
Scot: Aye, neither do I.
Secretary: But you are a Jew?
Scot: Aye, I be that.
Secretary: So you are circumcised...?
Scot: Aye, I be that, too.
Secretary: I am terribly sorry, but the members just would not feel comfortable with that.
Scot: Ach, away with ya, man. I know that you have to be a Protestant to march with the Orangemen, and I know that you have to be a Catholic to join the Knights of Columbus ...... but this is the first time I've heard that you have to be a COMPLETE Prick to join a golf club.
Some are born great, some achieve greatness and some have greatness thrust upon them.
The rest of us are a bit crap.