Cheery, I promise you I would never, ever do that! I was thinking of you while we were joking about the pen and thinking how horrified you'd be when you read it. I'm almost positive it's illegal here too and I could get sued. While it would be a huge help in the note-taking department, the suggestion would be taken offensively. Saying you need to record a school meeting is like throwing down a gauntlet. No one would believe that's why I wanted to record it. And, honestly, if things ever got so bad that I felt I needed to record it, I wouldn't let my child go there.
Anyway, the meeting went fairly well and I wrote as quickly as I could. I also typed up notes as soon as I got home while they were fresh in my memory. I typed them right into the body of the agenda and emailed it to them. That confirms what was said and is their opportunity to speak up if they don't agree with something I've written.
I had to spend the first few minutes of the meeting dealing with the teacher's hurt feelings. I did my best to be kind and semi-apologetic to move the meeting along, but man, that is one of my biggest peeves. Why is it when some people screw up, they think they have the right to have hurt feelings when they get called on it? She screwed up, got called on it, her feelings were hurt and I'm the bad guy? You gotta be kidding me. It was nauseating. She said, "Your email was hurtful. It made me feel like I didn't do my job." I almost had an aneurism trying not to say, "You didn't do your [Q/]EFF![/Q]ing job! If you had we wouldn't be sitting here!" What about the several hours of work I had to do because she didn't do her job? I didn't whine about that to her.
So after two months of trying to get some sort of positive or negative feedback out of her, I finally get an admission that she just doesn't know. First, she tried to tell me that she gave me the feedback when I asked for it. Another unreal moment. I looked her right in the eye and said, "No. I would ask you for the feedback and instead of answering you would offer to try some tracking, which you never followed through on. Or, you would offer to set up a group meeting, which you also never followed through on." She got pissy over that, but knew it was the truth and finally said, "The reason why I never answered you is because I just don't know!" And I said, "Thank you! That's an answer." I mean, what? Did she think I didn't notice that she wasn't actually answering me for 2 months?
Sorry, it wasn't my intention to give a blow by blow here. The end result is I pushed the plan on my agenda, the principal was all for it, so the teacher had to go along. This was nothing outrageous, simply an outline of how it's been handled by the elementary schools in the past. I'm still completely baffled though. Without a doubt, I can't be the only parent in this situation. So how do the other parents get this info? Isn't there some sort of basic, routine plan in place for these situations? But, I couldn't ask those questions without spending our time rehashing what's gone wrong. I didn't have time for that. I had to use the time to make sure things go the way they're supposed from this point on.
“It is the peculiar nature of the world to go on spinning no matter what sort of heartbreak is happening.”
― Sue Monk Kidd, The Secret Life of Bees: