Frustration Thread 4

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Re: Frustration Thread 4

Postby Sister Jennifer » Mon Nov 18, 2013 12:08 am

Watchman44 wrote:
chillicamper wrote: If the bulldozers move in, I am fully intending to be chained to them if I have to.......and I'll make sure we have some press in attendance if if comes to that :lol:


Like Arthur Dent against Mr Prosser? in a contest between Jose and a cat D9 my money is on Jose!


Some factual information for you. Have you any idea how much damage a bulldozer would suffer if it rolled straight over you?

Sorry to be flip Chilli. Couldn't resist.
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Re: Frustration Thread 4

Postby Sister Jennifer » Mon Nov 18, 2013 12:13 am

Catch-up wrote:You can't believe these brand new houses practically need to be redone after only a few years. And the funny thing is, so many people think buying a brand new house is better than buying an old one that's managed to stay upright for over 100 years! :?


When we renovated our bathroom a couple of years ago the walls were lined with newspaper. The date on them was 1921 :shock: I was astounded. Not only at how well our home was built but What the hell kinda ink & paper did they make the newspaper out of?

Anyway, I had some of the newspapers framed & hung back in the bathroom. They look great.
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Re: Frustration Thread 4

Postby TinatheConfused » Mon Nov 18, 2013 1:32 am

Wow Sister, that is incredible. How wonderful to have that history and knowing that you could preserve it. Awesome. I am not sure, but I think that they used Hemp for paper back then, perhaps.
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Re: Frustration Thread 4

Postby chillicamper » Mon Nov 18, 2013 6:50 am

Sister Jennifer wrote:
Watchman44 wrote:
chillicamper wrote: If the bulldozers move in, I am fully intending to be chained to them if I have to.......and I'll make sure we have some press in attendance if if comes to that :lol:


Like Arthur Dent against Mr Prosser? in a contest between Jose and a cat D9 my money is on Jose!


Some factual information for you. Have you any idea how much damage a bulldozer would suffer if it rolled straight over you?

Sorry to be flip Chilli. Couldn't resist.


Aha! It's amazing what snippets of information that you can pick up when you used to work planting trees with various dreadlocked hippies who have protested on much bigger environmental vandalism its all in the correct placement of the chains and stuff so that it jams the cogs and tracks etc. :whistle: :whistle: ..........of course you only get one chance to get it right.....or you end up being nominated for a Darwin award ;) :lol: And that's why it's safer to have the press recording it.....it's bad publicity for the developers to be seen smearing you across the building site :lol:
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Re: Frustration Thread 4

Postby Sister Jennifer » Mon Nov 18, 2013 7:11 am

Ah, Chilli... See Watchman's comment? My bulldozer Question is from The Hitch Hikers Guide, it's what Mr. Prosser asks Arthur when he's laying in front of the bulldozer.

This is how the conversation goes;

Prosser: Mr. Dent?
Arthur Dent: Hello, yes?
Prosser: Some factual information for you. Have you any idea how much damage this bulldozer would suffer if I were to let it roll straight over you?
Arthur Dent: How much?
Prosser: None at all.

I'm sorry for being flippant and quoting THHGTTG at you, but I couldn't resist is what I meant.

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Re: Frustration Thread 4

Postby chillicamper » Mon Nov 18, 2013 7:57 am

Ahhhh :oops: :oops: It's been a while since I read THHGTTG.
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Re: Frustration Thread 4

Postby Catch-up » Mon Nov 18, 2013 6:27 pm

So cool Sister J! You hear about people finding stuff like that around here sometimes.

Chilli, do not risk getting smeared! :shock:
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Re: Frustration Thread 4

Postby TinatheConfused » Tue Nov 19, 2013 1:01 am

Not looking forward to being stabbed again in the lower back. This is really getting to be an emotional toll. I am not sleeping well, and having nightmares all the time. I have recently learned that childhood abuse, our mother beating us with everything she could get her hands on like fly swatters, teflon spoons and spatulas...beatings from my father all my life, to the point of intense bruising and emotional abuse i.e. being forced to wait in my room for up to an hour for a beating with my father's belt with no real idea of what I was being punished for, other than having been told I was a monster, have led to experiencing pain in a much more intense fashion and the anticipation of pain is horrifying.

My father traveled 5 days a week and came home on Friday night, leaving again on Sunday night. My mother would rile him up with every single thing she catalogued all week long, small or large and we small children would be sitting in the living room happy that Dad was home and suddenly he would storm into the room. Breathing heavily through his nose, unbuckling his belt, doubling it over and cracking it. He would growl between clenched teeth for us "monsters" to get to our rooms and wait to be beaten. We were never told exactly What we were being beaten for. All we could do was wait, sometimes for over an hour, while he waited to calm down so he would not kill us (that is what my mother told us, also the reason he used the belt instead of his hands) going over and over the week, trying to remember what we did that was so awful. She is crazy, still crazy. When I last spoke to her, over 6 years ago, she just replied "But I was so YOUNG". Horsehockey. She has rewritten history in her mind and has painted herself as the perfect mother. I still cannot hear the sound of a whip cracking or a belt doubled over without cringing into the fetal position.

I am in therapy. I am trying to recover, yet I still suffer this irrational fear of pain. I hate it, it makes me feel like a small, helpless child. I am afraid that doctors will perceive me to be immature.

I have had so many operations, procedures, dental hell, and many other injuries which I dealt with on my own, and yet each new thing that comes up brings such fearful apprehension. I certainly hope I can conquer this in my lifetime.
Vampires have risen from the dead, the grave and the crypt, but have never managed it from the cat. ~ Witches Abroad
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Re: Frustration Thread 4

Postby Jan Van Quirm » Tue Nov 19, 2013 10:13 am

Image Hang in there Tina - you've had such a long and terrible journey but you're a strong, creative and beautiful, intelligent person as a result and in spite of your hellish past.

With so much horrible scar tissue from your childhood that you're finally expelling, you're bound to have these awful periods but you're giving your terrors air by acknowledging them and that's a good thing, even if this is the only place you can scream them out? Image

Is there someone you can confide all these feelings of emotional distress with amongst your medical attendants? You've laid out the reasons for your fears so lucidly here that I'm sure they'd understand your responses to all the strain over your treatment schedule? Do you still have that great doctor who helped you such a lot a while back with sorting out your array of medical problems? Or a support group perhaps that can help you (and hubby too) process the mental pain and aftermath of the medical solutions - maybe you could print out this last post and share it with someone who understands some of what you're facing?

You've come back to us this time sounding so much better and more balanced and positive that I know you can weather this period and get to a place where your physical conditions can be managed without taking too much toll on your quality of life. I sincerely hope that sharing this with us gives you some strength and heart to carry on the fight my dear. Be gentle with yourself and remember to keep on swimming!

(((((vibes)))))
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Re: Frustration Thread 4

Postby Who's Wee Dug » Tue Nov 19, 2013 11:51 am

What horrible abusive parents you had Tina, the emotional scars left must be terrible for you. Hope you can get it all sorted soon as possible.
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Re: Frustration Thread 4

Postby Batty » Tue Nov 19, 2013 12:04 pm

Jan summed it up perfectly.

Tina, you have explained so well, that it is the anticipation and fear of the pain, rather than the pain itself that is causing you problems.

Do what Jan suggested and print out your post, so that you can show it to any medical staff that should know of your history.
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Re: Frustration Thread 4

Postby Tonyblack » Tue Nov 19, 2013 12:40 pm

There's nothing irrational about fearing pain, but the abuse you have suffered has magnified that fear immensely. Mental cruelty can leave much deeper scars than physical abuse - scars that sometimes never completely heal.

Tina, as the others have said, if it helps to talk about it, then do so. Talking about such things is cathartic. Once you have said these things, they are out of your head and onto paper (electronic or otherwise). When they are in your head, they fester and become much worse.

*HUGE HUGS*
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Re: Frustration Thread 4

Postby Penfold » Tue Nov 19, 2013 12:52 pm

As Batty and Jan said, it will help if you print out your post and show it to a sympathetic member of the medical staff or your doctor, especially if you have any difficulty whatsoever articulating your feelings to them (starting to talk aloud about something so personal, face to face with anyone, is very difficult* to begin with but by doing this, you at least have a starting point).


* I know this from personal experience when I first went to try and get treatment for my alcohol addiction.
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Re: Frustration Thread 4

Postby michelanCello » Tue Nov 19, 2013 2:24 pm

Hugs from me aswell!
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Re: Frustration Thread 4

Postby The Mad Collector » Tue Nov 19, 2013 3:02 pm

That's awful Tina, and I agree with the others you need to share this with someone in your medical support
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