Gods Bless Ronnie Barker

(For General Discussion)

Moderators: Jason, Toothy, Tonyblack

Gods Bless Ronnie Barker

Postby Bouncy Castle » Thu Aug 23, 2012 10:51 am

This was originally shown on BBC TV back in the 70's. Ronnie Barker could say all this without a snigger.

The irony is, BBC received not one complaint.

The speed of delivery must have been too much for the whining herds. Try getting through it without converting the spoonerisms as you read.......


This is the story of Rindercella and her sugly isters.

Rindercella and her sugly isters lived in a marge lansion. Rindercella worked very hard frubbing sloors, emptying poss pits, and shivelling shot.

At the end of the day, she was knucking fackered. The sugly isters were right bugly astards. One was called Mary Hinge, and the other was called Betty Swallocks; they were really forrible huckers; they had fetty sweet and fatty swannies.
The sugly isters had tickets to go to the ball, but the cotton runts would not let Rindercella go.

Suddenly there was a bucking fang, and her gairy fodmother appeared. Her name was Shairy Hithole and she was a light rucking fesbian. She turned a pumpkin and six mite wice into a hucking cuge farriage with six dandy ronkeys who had buge hollocks and dig bicks. The gairy fodmother told Rindercella to be back by dimnlight otherwise, there would be a cucking falamity.

At the ball, Rindercella was dancing with the prandsome hince when suddenly the clock struck twelve. "Mist all chucking frighty!!!" said Rindercella, and she ran out tripping barse over ollocks, so dropping her slass glipper.

The very next day, the prandsome hince knocked on Rindercella's door and the sugly isters let him in.. Suddenly, Betty Swallocks lifted her leg and let off a fig bart. "Who's fust jarted?" asked the prandsome hince. "Blame that fugly ucker over there!!" said Mary Hinge. When the stinking brown cloud had lifted, he tried the slass glipper on both the sugly isters without success and their feet stucking funk.

Betty Swallocks was ducking fisgusted and gave the prandsome hince a knack in the kickers. This was not difficult as he had bucking fuge halls and a hig bard on. He tried the slass glipper on Rindercella and it fitted pucking ferfectly.

Rindercella and the prandsome hince were married. The pransome hince lived his life in lucking fuxury, and Rindercella lived hers with a follen swanny!
Some are born great, some achieve greatness and some have greatness thrust upon them.

The rest of us are a bit crap.
User avatar
Bouncy Castle
Member
 
Posts: 12051
Joined: Wed Apr 29, 2009 12:08 pm
Location: London

Re: Gods Bless Ronnie Barker

Postby Who's Wee Dug » Thu Aug 23, 2012 10:54 am

:lol: :lol: :mrgreen: still funny.
He willnae tak' a drink! I think he's deid! , on the other hand though A Midgie in yir hand is worth twa up yir kilt.
User avatar
Who's Wee Dug
Member
 
Posts: 14903
Joined: Sun Jul 27, 2008 10:31 pm
Location: Stirlingshire, Scotland

Re: Gods Bless Ronnie Barker

Postby pip » Thu Aug 23, 2012 10:56 am

Fun :lol:
'There is no future for e-books, because they are not books. E-books smell like burned fuel.'
Ray Bradbury (RIP)
User avatar
pip
Member
 
Posts: 9385
Joined: Fri Sep 03, 2010 11:20 am
Location: KILDARE

Re: Gods Bless Ronnie Barker

Postby Tonyblack » Thu Aug 23, 2012 11:59 am

Reminds me a bit of this by Jasper Carrott. :lol:

"Goodness is about what you do. Not what you pray to."
User avatar
Tonyblack
Moderator
 
Posts: 29023
Joined: Fri Jul 25, 2008 4:29 pm
Location: Cardiff, Wales

Re: Gods Bless Ronnie Barker

Postby Penfold » Wed Aug 29, 2012 11:35 am

The man was an absolute genius. here's another letch skampooning the Rev. Spooner;



:lol:
The difference between fiction and reality? Fiction has to make sense.
8
User avatar
Penfold
Member
 
Posts: 7232
Joined: Tue Dec 29, 2009 1:59 am
Location: Worthing


Return to The Broken Drum

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: Google [Bot], Sister Jennifer and 5 guests

cron