Funniest lines in a Discworld book....

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Funniest lines in a Discworld book....

Postby mspanners » Sun Mar 15, 2009 8:19 pm

One of the funniest moments for Me is from (if I recall correctly!).

The HogFather when The Duckman reads out a line from a joke from a Hogswatch cracker that said some thing like..

"Help! Help! I am trapped in the Cracker machine and can't get ou.... AGhhhhhhh"

:lol:

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Postby Tonyblack » Sun Mar 15, 2009 8:28 pm

I always liked the one where Sam Vimes described some coffee as "love in a canoe". :lol:
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Postby Byakuran » Sun Mar 15, 2009 10:17 pm

Haha that reminds me of another comparison Vimes comes up with in the Fifth Elephant I think! Something along the lines of: "...he'd noticed that sex bore some resemblence to cookery; people were intrigued by it, bought big books full of interesting recipes and colourful pictures, and sometimes when they were really hungry they'd imagine wild feasts, but at the end of the day they'd settle quite happily for egg and chips."
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Postby Straw Walker » Mon Mar 16, 2009 1:14 pm

I've just finished re-reading 'Lords & Ladies' on my journey through Discworld from the beginning. This may not be the funniest, there are so many, but it brought me tears of laughter. lol:

Magrat is trying in vain to persuade Mrs Scorbic, the castle cook, to prepare healthy food for the wedding banquet with Nanny Ogg standing by.
Nanny says, 'You might need this' and handed Magrat the winged helmet of Queen Ynci.
There was a click. Mrs Scorbic looked down the length of a crossbow and met Magrat's steady gaze.
'Go ahead,' said the Queen of Lancre softly, 'bake my quiche.' :
I think the answer lies in the soil, ooo arrr!
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Postby chris.ph » Mon Mar 16, 2009 5:59 pm

bananana :lol:
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Postby WannabeAngua » Mon Mar 16, 2009 6:14 pm

There was a click. Mrs Scorbic looked down the length of a crossbow and met Magrat's steady gaze.
'Go ahead,' said the Queen of Lancre softly, 'bake my quiche.' :

*giggles* :)

Don't remember where this one is from but it's one of the times Greebo is turned into a human. He tries to get comfortable in his new self, looks down at his fingernails and says/thinks: "Ah, these still work"
Then he jumps at some unlucky pursuers :D

...or something along those lines, been awhile since I read this passage. Think it might be from Maskerade???
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Postby Jan Van Quirm » Mon Mar 16, 2009 10:18 pm

chris.ph wrote:bananana :lol:


Gods yeah! Witches Abroad is just full of 'em :lol:

Nanny knew how to spell Bananana - she just couldn't stop spelling it. PMSL

ANd getting the alligator sandwich all mixed up :twisted:
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Postby jonnycee » Thu Mar 19, 2009 10:49 pm

Witches Abroad

"Aha! Currying favour"

Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear
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Postby Tonyblack » Fri Mar 20, 2009 7:41 am

Welcome to the site jonnycee. :D
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Postby poohbcarrot » Fri Mar 20, 2009 8:04 am

The funniest bit that springs to mind is the bit in Last Continent, when the wizards are stuck on Mono Island, thousands of years in the past, and Ponder tries to explain the paradox that you shouldn't step on ants because the future might be altered.

Or the bit in Interesting Times when Vetinari is talking with Ridcully about the pointless albatross that "didn't" arrive.

Or the bit with the passwords at the beginning of Guards Guards.

Or what happens if you use the 7 league boots without the correct spell in Light Fantastic.

Or Vetinari finishing his meetings with, "Don't let me detain you".

Or Granny playing cards on the riverboat in Witches Abroad.

Or...........etc etc etc.
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Postby Tonyblack » Fri Mar 20, 2009 8:16 am

Talking of the wizards - I love the discussion they have about Hogswatch in Hogfather. :lol:
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Postby poohbcarrot » Fri Mar 20, 2009 11:02 am

Tonyblack wrote:Talking of the wizards - I love the discussion they have about Hogswatch in Hogfather. :lol:


That's a good one too. With the sockeater etc.

I think TP's greatest written line is (not funny but deep);

"Imo made us clever enough to work out he doesn't exist." - Nation

Have you seen what happens if you give this the "Da Vinci Code" treatment?

IMO (God) = Text speak. "In My Opinion God"

So we have a book all about atheism written by a self-confessed atheist.

The book is littered with atheist comments (will supply you with some if requested). It also hails Darwin as the "greatest ever scientist". It not only mentions Richard Dawkins (author of the excellent "God Delusion"), but calls him "nice".

However, the icing on the cake is the fact that the stars in the cave dated back 31,000 years.
Last edited by poohbcarrot on Fri Mar 20, 2009 12:39 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Postby cols » Fri Mar 20, 2009 12:21 pm

Feel I have to respond here to the obvious baiting..I happen to have enjoyed Nation ( and love Small Gods) and yes I'm a creationist and strangley enough it doesn't hinder my capacity to appreciate a good book :shock:
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Postby poohbcarrot » Fri Mar 20, 2009 12:37 pm

My apologies Cols :oops:

I'll delete the last two lines because I don't want to get into a religious argument here.
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Postby cols » Fri Mar 20, 2009 12:40 pm

Thanx Poohb you're a sweetie :D
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