Who can be serious.... peeing myself here.
The laws DID change. My brother tried to get access to his daughters in 2000 - 2002 thereabouts under the OLD laws. He had a million dollars business, houses... quiet a rich lad who built his business up with hard work. He took his wife to court to get "access". Because she was the "custodial" parent (terms never used anymore) she got unlimited legal aid and he lost everything. Ran out of money and didn't see his girls for ten years. Sooooooooooo.. mens groups thought it was unfair (and it WAS) so they lobbied the government to change the laws so it wasn't so much in the womens favour. Well when you get ONE group lobbying to change laws, the lawmaker tend to over compensate. So in 2006 the laws changed.... and now they have swung too far the other way. NOW they are being changed AGAIN at the end of this year because too many women have gone to court without representation and ended up in very very dire circumstances where they have lost the children, and been hit with so many legal bills from the government that they are basically paying them off til they die. Its far too complicated and such a rats nest its hard to explain simply here.
So nowadays there is no access or custody. Both parents have a right to see the children. Its the law. I didn't know this. Even if you are in prison you have the right to see your children (and the duty of the other parent to make this possible). If its dangerous you have to prove it, and then they are still given the right to see them even if its with supervision (very rare to have supervision from officials.... they can nominate relatives or their friends as supervisors
Thing is Family Law is a Federal matter and abuse is a State matter and its rarely a State or police matter can be used in a Federal Court. Alot of relience is put on a report from a court appointed Family Psychologist, which is what happened to us... though as Jan said... if you get a nutter there isn't much you can do. (I get bile rising in my gullet everytime I think about that report and the crap that is written in it... sickening!) The only avenue I would have had would have been to contest the report (not a good thing when the judge appointed this one himself) and at immense expense... AND to do that would have meant asking the court for another hearing to submit that evidence (which never goes down well... dragging a case out and is seen as being "hostile")
As I had stopped Hayden visiting the ex and he "HAD" to take me to court I was judged to be a "hostile parent" from day one. Reconciliation and mediation is seen as a first step and I was hoodwinked (this guy is good at manipulation remember...) I never even KNEW "that" conversation was his attempt at arranging mediation but it went down officially as him trying his hardest
(Damn these emoticons don't have ENOUGH emotion!) I had strips ripped off me in court the first time by the judge for being there and dragging the poor father to court.
An article in a recent paper here recently said the family court has less room to answer (you can't.. you can only answer the judge's questions) and was more intimidating than a murder trial. I can vouch for that (not that I have been in a murder trial..... give me time....)
The whole process is condusive to destroying the woman (and in some cases I have seen men) to depression (tick) fear (tick) and in some cases suicide (oh that one hovered so often.... the only thing that stopped me was the thought that she would be left alone with him...and the other two girls would try to protect her and he would go after them).
Sooooooooo if you are diagnosed with depression.... guess what? You can be ruled as unfit to be a parent! Good hey! And when the children fall apart from the stress they are being put under, it can be ruled as your fault because they are living with you until this is over (if they aren't taken away from the "unfit parent" before then).
And one of the big rules was: The children are NOT ever to be aware that a court case is going on! Ever! And if they find out its your fault, and they can be taken away...... Now... my kids aren't stupid. What? Being dragged from pillar to post being interviewed, interrogated but hey .. nothing is going on..... Oh and having the court papers SERVED to a 15 year old and not even in an envelope????? Only way I could prove that
was to take the server to court in a separate case.
After the first court date I was ordered to send Hayden back on weekends... and not fortnightly.... as "You will be punished from keeping this child from her father!" so every weekend. He tried to make it every weekend up to now but the ex (through his lawyer) explained that "he could NEVER do that to me.... it was too cruel" and I got yet another lecture about how wonderful the ex was to show such compassion. Truth be told the ex's wife would have hit the roof at being stuck with H every weekend.... and so would the ex... no time for his man friends to visit with a kid there. (The weekends his wife works he sends her kids off to her friends). AND I had to arrange councellors to see Hayden to make her happy and excited to visit the ex.
Debt: The court will want me to pay at least half of all court costs... they may even make me pay all of them. Though I think that would have been put forward at the settlement time.. I don't know. The judge always had me listed as a "hostile parent" and it could still happen (hostile meaning it was my fault the ex HAD to hire a lawyer to do all this). The judge thought that I was being flippant and not regarding the childs best needs in the case by not having a legal team, (I had no money to hire one and no judgement on legal aid) so ordered a Childrens Lawyer to represent on her behalf. He didn't really get involved but I will still have to pay all his costs and court costs. I will be forced to pay all or half of the costs for the court appointed Family Psychologist (and that was an all day event). I could be also forced to pay the ex's court costs and all his legal fees if he decides to ask for them. I DID mention to him when I was getting him to sign the Parenting Agreement that he would be perfectly within his rights to do that but that doing so would entail alot
more legal costs to his legal team and it may not even be ruled in his favour. (Cant say too much about that one here
Q is right. Its all about the torment. Actually its a game. Morgan the teen said he has spreadsheets. He lives to play games on his Xbox, his Playstation, his computer. This is his game. Some of the things he set up, Morgan said she had seen set up in his lists up to 18 months ago.... well two years now. "If I do this, she will do this, or this, and then I will do this...." She didn't really believe it when she saw it. I think she didn't want to tell me either as he used her for some of the set-ups. He used to sit for hours writing out "texts" he was lining up to send me and show them to her or read them out to her and ask "Do you reckon thats a good one? That will get up her nose? And it won't get me into trouble" then figure out what would be the reaction. Another thing the psychologist said was pure fantasy. The day Hayden got tangled in a rope playground climbing web was pure gold. He took about 30 photos of the welts on her legs and had me charged with abuse... and it happened while she was with him! Yes she told the authorities it was from the playground but having police and child protection going through my home, interviewing the kids, was a nightmare... and its flagged. It never goes away.
So the laws will be changed at the end of this year. God knows what they will come up with this time.
In the meantime.... "The child will reside with the mother"
Its not over by a long shot. He will continue; this is like defeating the boss of a round in the game; there are many levels to play yet for him .... but he had better not put ONE damn foot wrong on his side.
Light the torches!!!!!! Bawahaaaaaaa!
Just keep swimming... just keep swimming.. just keep swimming....