Discworld Poets Cornered

[poohbcarrot]

As people have recently expressed their likings for poetry, this thread is for anybody who feels inclined to post any Discworld poetry.

Here's a limerick that took all of 5 minutes to compose (it shows!)

Moist Von Lipwig a postman of note.
Worked with Stanley and Tolliver Groat.
Reacher Gilt, he did screw,
With a con trick or two,
And his winged hat and gold-coloured coat.

Or a haiku (5-7-5) that took all of 3 minutes to compose

Sargeant Angua.
Not a wolf in sheep's clothing.
Gives killer love bites.

[Tiffany]

Very good Poohcarrot, I'll try those later, I do like limericks. When I was on the Beeb boards we had a whole thread dedicated to them

I think I posted this elsewhere, but here it is again, it's the only poem I've written about a Discworld character.

The Luggage.

Sapient Pear wood,
This box is made good
Hundreds of feet,
Invisible, discreet,
Will follow it's owner anywhere,
Tenacious is the Sapient Pear.
Fearcely loyal, brave and true,
It will fight on side, for you
The one who is it's rightful owner,
It's never wants to be a loner.
Always has clean clothing inside,
Or anything you need, won't hide,
Plainly in view when you lift the lid,
Gold there if ever you need a few quid.
Yes, This box is truly a wonderful thing
Terry Pratchett's idea of magical bling.

[Jan Van Quirm]

v. good Pooh and Tiff - my poetry's either Tolkien-related or embarassingly personal but I guess I'll have to have a go at an odd ode to Gaspode or summat in the not too distant future

Poet Cornered was the title I gave to my own thread on the Tolkien forum but does anyone remember the (possible) origins of the 'pune'? Mid-late 60's TV (so B&W) by an anarchic comedy duo more commonly known as D*r*k & C*i*e...?

[Tonyblack]

Oh there are some talented people on this site.

[poohbcarrot]

It WAS based on Pete and Dudley, and how the person who couldn't continue the poem was thrown into a pool of gunk.

[silverstreak]

Oh there are some talented people on this site.

Wish I was one.

[Who's Wee Dug]

Oh there are some talented people on this site.

Wish I was one.

Me three

[Jan Van Quirm]

It WAS based on Pete and Dudley, and how the person who couldn't continue the poem was thrown into a pool of gunk.

yeah - long before TISWAS was a twinkle in Chris Tarrant's baby blues (or Noel Edmonds Crinkly Bottom )

[Tiffany]

Oh there are some talented people on this site.

Oh! Tony, thank you very much.

I have always liked writing poetry, but have never thought myself talented as such. I am on a poetry forum & some of the guys on there are amazing.

[bogieman]

I am the Bogieman
who lives under the bed
I’m from the land of the strange
the land of dead
I put nightmares in the minds
of the people who sleep
I make them cringe
and worry, and weep
From under the bed
I have no fear
Unless there is a pink
fluffy blanket quite near
You may think this is strange
or even funny
But this is more scary
if it has a, fluffy bunny

[Tonyblack]

That's great Bogie!

[poohbcarrot]

Very good Tiffany and bogieman

See everyone? It's easy!

You're a poet and you don't know it, so don't blow it, just go f'rit and show it , don't stow it!

[poohbcarrot]

What a wonderful guy, Tonyblack.
Loves giving out pats on the back.
This poem's quite sh*te,
But he'll think it's allright.
Woof, woof, woof, moo, moo, moo and quack quack!

Bless him, he's doing a grand job!

(he'll probably say it's no good, now!)

[Tonyblack]

What a wonderful guy, Tonyblack.
Loves giving out pats on the back.
This poem's quite sh*te,
But he'll think it's allright.
Woof, woof, woof, moo, moo, moo and quack quack!

Bless him, he's doing a grand job!

(he'll probably say it's no good, now!)

Needs another quack at the end.

[poohbcarrot]

No it doesn't because the "and" replaces the third "quack".

(Isn't that a TP novel? The third quack? Sounds like it ought to be)