mC's "Cooking for Dummies" Thread

[chris.ph]

lovely not

[deldaisy]

The teen turned 16 last month... the girls finally called a meeting and informed each other and ME.... noone likes birthday cake. None of us sweet lovers... but come on... Birthday Cake?

We have agreed to come up with something savory and delicious in the shape of a birthday cake for future family celebrations. I daresay it will involve capers..... and salmon or meat or sashimi. Fine by me!

[polythenegirl]

I really miss my mums stovies

My mum makes an extra portion every time she makes them and bring them down to me in the Ice Box and they last me til next time she visits

[chuckie]

Unfortunately my mum died a few years ago so i will never have it again.

[michelanCello]

Unfortunately my mum died a few years ago so i will never have it again.

I'm soo sorry to hear that, Chuck.... I know how it feels - even though I never much liked my mom's cooking. She was a wonderful person but not such a great chef

[polythenegirl]

Unfortunately my mum died a few years ago so i will never have it again.

I'm so sorry to hear that I know its not the same but have you tried to make it yourself? Mine isn't anywhere near my mum's but my OH loves it

I'd offer some of my mum's but I know its not the same (and my mum makes her weird - with square sausage and sausages)

[chuckie]

Unfortunately my mum died a few years ago so i will never have it again.

I'm so sorry to hear that I know its not the same but have you tried to make it yourself? Mine isn't anywhere near my mum's but my OH loves it

I'd offer some of my mum's but I know its not the same (and my mum makes her weird - with square sausage and sausages)

Sausages dosn't sound weird, mine made hers with corned beef.
As for making my own, I'm a terrible cook and I'm not sure of what goes into it.

[Antiq]

Vegetarian here, so no meat and more meat recipes from me

For a fuss-free, one-pot meal, I strongly recommend soups. You can make your own stock and freeze it, which, mostly for one, will last ages. And soups can feed you for a few days. I shall go dig up some of my favourite soup recipes for you, MC Curried carrot is a particular favourite, as is old cucumber soup.

I love pastas, which can be ridiculously simple and filling, and I cook that all the time, but they say your childhood meals are the last memories that can be taken from you, and I find that sometimes, only Asian food can do it for me.

Some noodles in miso soup (Just some kombu and miso paste, easy peasy!) or some garlic fried rice, claypot vegetables, tofu in sweet chili sauce or eggplant curry and enoki mushrooms with sesame oil, and you have a very happy shegs! Best thing- none of these even require recipes. I feel that asian cooking is unlike when I rustle up other cuisines, in that it's very instinctive.

As another vegetarian, I agree.

You guys can always substitute qourn. Yummy sausages and chicken and stuff. I use it frequently, even though I'm not veggie.

[Tonyblack]

I use Quorn and Linda McCartney sausages. Although I don't think the sausages actually contain any Linda.

[ChristianBecker]

I don't think the sausages actually contain any Linda.

Let's hope so. You said you were a vegetarian (or was that veterinarian) before.

[jaeger]

Spicey Rat onna Stick

Preparation time ~ 15 minutes + 15 minutes fridge time
Cooking time ~ 10 - 12 minutes
Difficulty ~ Easy

Ingredients

500g minced beef *
1 egg
2 slices bread (crumbed)
1 small onion finely diced
1 tsp paprika
1/2 tsp cayenne pepper
1/2 tsp ground cumin
1/2 tsp ground corriander

For Cooking ~ Show
6 bamboo skewers (soaked well in water)
6 x 6" (15cm) lengths of D minor piano string **

* Vegetablists substitute minced beef with minced Quorn
** Rats Tail - Optional - purely for aesthetics - DO NOT EAT piano string

Method

Combine well minced beef, bread crumbs and egg in a bowl. Then add and mix well in all other ingredients.

Make six medium sized meatballs from the mixture and roll each into a sausage shape.
Insert soaked skewers (lengthwise) into each sausage shape the whole length. If using now insert piano string (as rats tail) at one end of sausage meat.
Place covered (cling film or foil) on a tray, board or plate and put in fridge to rest for 15 minutes.

Cook under a hot grill or over glowing coals on a bbq for 10 - 12 minutes (or until cooked through), turning frequently to avoid burning.
Serve on shredded lettuce with a sour cream dip.

Amaze and impress all your Dwarvish guests by serving up this wee dish at your dinner party as an appetizer or at the bbq for a rolling meze

[michelanCello]

OK, I'm sure it's just me, but at first glance it seems pretty difficult enough I'll write it down anyways - thanks!
Yesterday I made slices of turkey breast stuffed with cheese - recipe coming up!

[michelanCello]

So... Stuffed Turkey...

It's not the complicated Christmas-Turkey-á-la-Mr.-Bean grilled bird, but a much more sipler and less dangerous version.
Take some slices of turkey breast - best if you ask the butcher to cut it, when you buy it - that way chances are less that some fingers of yours mix up with the turkey. You have to start preparing this in the morning, or an evening before so that the turkey has time to... but I'll come that point right away.
So if you have your turkey slices, take the...erm... I don't know what it's called... kitchen hammer? Makes the meat softer. So beat the slices both sides a couple of times, and then pile them up in a bowl or a deep-ish plate, sprankling some salt between every slice.
Then pour milk over the turkey, just so that it coveres all of it.
Peel 2-3 cloves of garlic and put them, squeezed, into the milky meat.
Now comes the letting it rest part. I mean, poor birdy, you've beaten it with a hammer, drown it in milk and if that wasn't enough, you just had to make sure it wasn't a vampire - no wonder poor thing needs some rest...
So it's the next day, or evening, or whatever, but several hours later and you can start with the stuffing part.
Slice the cheese (any cheese, really) into slices that fit into your turkey slices. Roll it up in the meat, or at least fold it in a way that it doesn't slip (of course, you can never be certain, but you can always hope ) But you're not there yet!
Next thing you need is three plates: in one, you put some flour, in another one you put 2 eggs and mix them a bit, and in the last one you put breadcrumbs. Then you have to put your meat slices in them in this order - so first in the flour, then in the eggs (make sure it's covered everywhere in eggs) and finally in the breadcrumbs, again, make sure it has a nice coat of breadrumbs - that functions as a kind of glue...
And finally, when all this is done, you can get a small-ish pan, fill it with oil (don't go easy on that, your stuffed turkey slices have to be almost totally covered by it!) wait until it's warm and than you can start baking - one or two at a time, depending on how big your pan is. Important is, that you should use a small fire, so that the meat gets ready but without the coat getting burned.
Turn it a couple of times if necessary and when you think it looks fine (should take 10-15 minutes) than you are ready
You can serve it with basically anything - mostly I eat it with mashed potatoes. Yummie

[Roo]

Minted lamb Casserole(Lamb Henri)
3lb shoulder of lamb
1lb carrotts (chopped}
2 sticks celery (chopped)
2 large Onions (spanish for choice)(chopped)
1 teaspoon Marjoram
2 large cloves of garlic(crushed)
Double handfull of mint leaves.
2 tablespoons of mint sauce or jelly if no fresh mint.
2 chicken/ veg stock cubes.
2 pints water(for the stock)old beer is good too.not stout.its too bitter.
2 tablespoons chicken Gravy mix.


Send the wife to the butchers to buy 3lb shoulder of lamb(the butchers son fancies her.)
Take a large frying pan or wok,put oil in it (cooking not engine)
Heat the pan until blue smoke starts to come off it.
Chuck lamb in pan.jump back and swear.
Wait untill you can smell burning(will not take long.)
Using a long handled implement and gloves turn the lamb over.
Jump back,swear,run to sink and extinquish gloves.
Opening back door of kitchen is opptional at this point.
For those of you with smoke sensors take the batteries out before you begin.
Wait for the burning smell to get worse.(this is called sealing the joint)
Holding the pan containing the smouldering lamb at arms length put it outside until it stops spitting.
This will give you time to find a large casserole dish or oven proof dish big enough to take the now somewhat shrunken burnt offering and the chopped veg.
Take all the other ingredients except the Liquor and the gravy mix and chuck them in the casserole dish.
Go outside and fight the local stray dog for the lamb.
(make sure that your tetanous and rabies shots are up to date)
Put the lamb in the dish,work it down to the bottom.
Cover the contents of the dish with water or old beer,if you have drunk the beer open some more.
Put a lid on the dish,if you have lost or broken the lid use tinfoil.
Set the oven to 180 degrees.
Put the dish in the oven.Close the door to the oven.
You now have three hours to amuse yourself or recuperate
When the 3 hours are up or the wife says "whats that funny smell?l" return to the oven and turn it off.
Put on oven gloves.
Open the oven door and duck the hades like blast of heat that will do it's very best to remove your eyebrows and any exposed flesh.
Remove the dish from the oven and place it on a flame retardent surface.( speed is off the essence at this point.)
Do not for any reason take off the oven gloves.
Try to remove the top from the oven dish(a screwdriver or some sort of lever may be useful at this point.)
If you have used tinfoil do not bother to try to peel it away(it will be futile)
Cut through the top of the tinfoil and peel it back(Gloves at all times,as superheated steam can be detremental to your health)
Lift what remains of the lamb out of the dish and place on a plate to one side.(once again implements not fingers)
Take the gravy mix and sprinkle it into the remaining liquor,stir vigorously to make gravy,sauce or sludge.(if sludge add more water or beer.)
Seperate the meat from the bones,it should just fall away.

Serve with whatever takes your fancy,I prefer mashed tatties and a decent red wine (drink enough good red and you will not care what you are eating.)


It was my turn with the braincell today,

Roo

[BobtheDrog]

i was a chef in a passed life if you need any tips mc pm me and i will try to sort you out

snap, including a spell in the aforementioned Bewleys, we didn't do stew at the time though