R.I.P Mum

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Postby cols » Mon Feb 01, 2010 10:58 am

Sorry to hear about your Mum Discworldaholic.
HUGS
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Postby Dotsie » Mon Feb 01, 2010 11:05 am

I'm so sorry for your loss, Discworldaholic :(
What's up with this glass? Excuse me? Excuse me? This is my glass? I don't think so. My glass was full! And it was a bigger glass!
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Postby chris.ph » Mon Feb 01, 2010 7:00 pm

really sorry for your loss discworldalcoholic
measuring intelligence by exam results is like measuring digestion by turd length
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Postby The_Discworldaholic » Mon Feb 01, 2010 10:03 pm

thanks for all your kind words of support and ive taken it all on board you lot are the best :)
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Postby theoldlibrarian » Wed Feb 03, 2010 3:26 pm

My father died when I was a very young child of a heart attack os so I thought.
Recently my Grandfather died of natural causes. It was only recently that I found out that while my Dad had had a heart attack, it was caused by taking cocaine.
Im normally quite good at crying when emotional things happen but when I found out about my Dad I just when numb inside and didn't really feel anything for a while. My dad was a sweet man who loved music and his family and would always regret that mistake.
The important thing is to never be angry with relatives living or otherwise over the sad things that happen in life. All family members are in it together and they will always be there for you.
My deepest and most sympathetic condolences for anyone here who has lost a friend or relative too young or just when you're not quite ready.
It is not enough to succeed, others must fail
-Gore Vidal
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Postby The_Discworldaholic » Thu Feb 04, 2010 6:20 pm

well i said this year is going to suck for me and yep it does i just found out today one of my aunts died two weeks ago, this is getting silly now, im just wondering who next and when, i just dont know what to feel anymore, plus the fact that my mums husband who inhereted everything has said that when he goes its all going to his family even thoough he'd agred with my mum that when it did happen everything goes three ways, hes just been in this for the money from the start it seems, i just want to screem shout rip things apart and do very violent things to something, why the hell is it me this is happening too :cry: :evil: :?
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Postby Jugula » Thu Feb 04, 2010 6:36 pm

My sincere condolences, and may I suggest a small way to help the pain? Remember your parents and relatives' physical presences have gone, but not your memories of them, of times past, the good and the maybe not so good. The Ancient Egyoptians believed that so long as their name was spoken after they wedre gone, they lived on. This is why names were erased from the walls of tombs. I say 'hi' to my dad and mum every day when I get up and 'night' when I go to bed. They walk with me through life, so just think of them each day, give them a greeting and press onwards. Remember, they can see you and what you do, make them proud of you.
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Postby janet » Thu Feb 04, 2010 10:27 pm

It's pure hell being an orphan at whatever age.
Time doesn't heal anything, it just shoves other stuff to the front of your mind but the pain of loss is always there......you just learn how to deal with it.
Kindest thoughts go to you Discworldaholic and, as someone else has said, there's always someone here to share your worries.
Cyberhugs to you and you have time to deal with all the shit which has not hit the fan so far. When it does you will be ready for it.
Screaming, shouting and ripping things apart is OK......I'd start with household soft furnishings :x
Doctorum Adamus cum Flabello Dulci
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Postby Jan Van Quirm » Fri Feb 05, 2010 12:44 am

Practical post as I worked in Probate... :roll:

There are laws about how the possessions of someone can be 'disposed' of, even when there's a will left that specifies someone's wishes and what they want to happen. It's partly based on the monetary value of the estate but can take account of what the deceased person wanted to happen on a verbal or tacit agreement.

If you feel strongly about what your stepfather may do, then think about taking legal advice to see if you can challenge the will or how the estate is wound up if there's no will (in fact ironically you're better 'protected' under law if there's no will as children will inherit from their parents as a legal right if the estate is over a certain limit which is set in law depending on the date of death).

This is not something to enter into lightly as it really does cause bad feeling within the family of course, but you sound like you're very concerned, so it's worth looking into, even if you take no action in the end. You don't have to go to a solicitor straight away - the Citizen's Advice Bureau is excellent for this kind of situation and can take you over some things (like putting caveats on the estate which is a holding procedure so whoever dealing with the estate can't get a grant until any disputes are sorted out). You don't necessarily have to have a solicitor unless you really want to press ahead with a challenge but if you do then it's best to have skilled representation as court proceedings may be necessary and the whole Probate Law area is a minefield unless you know what you're doing... :(

I'm so sorry you have this horrible worry on top of everything else and I hope this can be resolved as painlessly as possible. :?
"Some men see things as they are and ask why. Others dream things that never were and ask why not.” George Bernard Shaw
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Postby And » Sat Feb 06, 2010 12:38 am

Jugula and Janet, what beautiful postings. Discworldaholic, I know you will keep your parents' memories fresh and green. Hugs and love to you. For many people two years seems to be the time it takes for hurt to pass and for the deepest pains to subside.

My lovely mum and dad are mentioned in some way every day. They are always with me, though Mum died in '91 and Dad in '97. I share your philosophy Jugula.

By my bed is a painting my Mum did a few months before she died; it is the most precious material possession I have. I have photos of her beautiful face on display elsewhere, yet it is that which was created by her that watches over me.
Wisdom comes from experience. Experience is often a result of lack of wisdom.
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Postby Jugula » Sat Feb 06, 2010 12:12 pm

And, thank you. In Europe most families actually put a small picture of the loved one in a waterproof niche on the front of the memorial/tombstone. I think that's a lovely idea too. Jugula
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