Has Jan Van Quirm been Kidnapped.......Shock..Horror.

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Postby Batty » Sun Jan 10, 2010 5:31 pm

Welcome back, Jan.

I will now have to go out when it gets a tad darker and dispose of the accumulated traffic cones ... No doubt there will be a traffic jam in Clacton tomorrow!
Going to my school was an education in itself. Which is not to be confused with actually getting an education (Schultz)
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Postby Dotsie » Sun Jan 10, 2010 5:40 pm

Mental. You're all mental :roll:

Welcome back Jan :D
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Postby Penfold » Sun Jan 10, 2010 9:02 pm

Morty wrote:For goodness sake woman we’ve got a helicopter on hire and the penthouse at the Monaco Hilton booked for a fortnight so we can hide you till the heat dies down........ :roll: :roll: :roll:

Jan the forum has missed you. It’s been like watching a Miss Marple mystery without Miss Marple. :lol: :lol: :lol:

Don’t worry about all the trouble we went to get you out Penfold can use the helicopter for the rest of the weekend and Crysania will enjoy a fortnight in Monaco. :D :D :D

From The Jailbreak Gang
WELCOME BACK

Corrrr! Thanks M. With all this blasted snow, I've been trying to work out how to pick DM up from the airport. Thats really got the problem sorted. Crumbs.... thanks again M, I really don't know what to say....
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erm...., M? Where're the keys?
The difference between fiction and reality? Fiction has to make sense.
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Postby Jan Van Quirm » Sun Jan 10, 2010 10:25 pm

Dotsie wrote:Mental. You're all mental :roll:

Welcome back Jan :D

Ahhhh well - the nuthouse is never boring is it? :twisted:

Thanks all for proving that however nuts I think I am - I'm no worse than a goodly proportion of the members on this forum... :P
"Some men see things as they are and ask why. Others dream things that never were and ask why not.” George Bernard Shaw
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Postby And » Sun Jan 10, 2010 11:54 pm

I'm away for a day or two and Jan goes, then is back, Penfold really IS Penfold now and ..... what else?? :D
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Postby And » Mon Jan 11, 2010 12:05 am

Morty wrote:
poohcarrot wrote:"The light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off....To save electricity"

I'm pretty sure that Tony had the exact same signature a while back. :lol:


I would like to be able say great minds think alike but I saw the statement used on a forum that was discussing whether the government wants anyone to get Disability Living Allowance :twisted:



I found some very good advice on the Ouch! forum Morty, that's the BBC's Disability forum. A strong-minded group but pieces of advice - make notes of falls, trips and state what the disability stops you doing- probably gained me my higher award of DLA. :D
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Postby Tina a.k.a.SusanSto.Helit » Mon Jan 11, 2010 3:49 am

Welcome BACK Jan!!! Thank Everything, yer back!!!!
Aha! So, Bob's yer uncle... very clever.
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Postby CrysaniaMajere » Mon Jan 11, 2010 2:45 pm

Morty wrote:
Sjoerd3000 wrote:WElcome back Jan :D and remember
If you have a problem, if no one else can help, and if you can find them, maybe you can hire... The Jailbreak Gang 8)


Nice one Hannibal Sjoerd it was a pleasure working with you :lol: :lol: :lol:

Best wishes
Captain H.M. "Howlin' Mad" Murdock (Morty)
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Personally I think Crysania over did the gold chains when we had this picture taken last night but there you go :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:


Overdid? They look just fine to me :lol: I'm looking angry only because I didn't have my glass of milk this morning :lol: :lol:

anyway glad you're back Jan!!!!

p.s.now I have nothing to blow up... :(
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Postby Sjoerd3000 » Mon Jan 11, 2010 3:28 pm

CrysaniaMajere wrote:now I have nothing to blow up... :(


yeah that's a pity :( and what to do with that Vespa now :? Maybe we can free someone else from prison :wink: If Morty can get himself arrested we can bust him out instead :P
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Postby Morty » Mon Jan 11, 2010 5:54 pm

Sjoerd3000 wrote:
CrysaniaMajere wrote:now I have nothing to blow up... :(


yeah that's a pity :( and what to do with that Vespa now :? Maybe we can free someone else from prison :wink: If Morty can get himself arrested we can bust him out instead :P


I NEED THE ‘’A’’ TEAM AND I NEED THEM NOW.

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Due to an unfortunate misunderstanding between myself and a TV Detector Operative with all the diplomacy of Attila the Hun I have been arrested and incarcerated in HMP Slade. I can assure you I am an innocent old man and I’m only guilty of attempting to stay alive to care for my beloved Aley (Cat).

I was faced with a difficult choice. As the Government seem hell bent on finding ways to avoid paying me Disability Living Allowance I was faced with the decision of either paying an instalment on my TV licence or turning on my one bar electric fire to cook food and stop hyperthermia from setting in.

My crime was watching Celebrity Big Brother without a fully paid up TV License. Now some might say that watching Celebrity Big Brother is a heinous crime that deserves the death penalty at the very least but if The ‘’A’’ Team will believe that I fully intended to pay my dues when my DLA arrives and that watching Celebrity Big Brother was a genuine mistake will they please take pity on me and spring me from this Hell Hole.

I know you have an armoured Vespa Scooter and that a certain Lady member of this forum who has a fetish for wearing gold chains is itching to blow something up. Penfold still has the keys to the Chopper and there’s still 10 days left on the Penthouse at The Monaco Hilton.

Oh God if you’re listening please let The A Team take pity on me.
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Postby CrysaniaMajere » Mon Jan 11, 2010 6:39 pm

I don't have a fetish :evil: you gave me that role, I'd always loved Hannibal(first) and Murdock(second), PE is too much a good guy, helping children, drinking milk, not the let's-blow-things-up-type of guy (like Hannibal :D ), now say you're sorry and I'll help with the prison break anyway :twisted:
We won't leave Aley by herself, she needs you!!

:lol: :lol:
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Postby Sjoerd3000 » Mon Jan 11, 2010 8:26 pm

OK here´s the plan :wink: Crys will drive the vespa to the prison with me behind in the DAF Daffodil get a way car. Crys will then fire the bazooka from the vespa at the prison wall. Morty will be close by to make a run for the hole in the wall. I will grab a M60 from the car boot and will lay covering fire to make sure the guards will dive for cover. Crys will help Morty get to the car, with it we will make our escape to the airfield and then with the chopper to Monaco where Morty can lay low for a while :D

In the meantime Penfold and Batty will distract the police. Now all we need is a pilot for the Helicopter any volunteers? :P

I love it when a plan comes together. 8)

and someone needs to escort Aley to Monaco to reunite her with Morty :wink:
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Postby Batty » Mon Jan 11, 2010 11:13 pm

Count me in!
I'll retrieve the traffic cones - some of which have a 'no entry' sign painted on them - and there are more than enough to confuse any pursuing police cars.

I'm not sure about taking Aley to Monaco. Won't she have to go into quarantine for 6 months when Morty returns, or show her passport to the authorities?

I have no sympathy for anyone watching Big Brother, but can only conclude that hypothermia was responsible for a temporary bout of insanity... Maybe Morty could use that in his defence?
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Postby Dotsie » Tue Jan 12, 2010 7:41 am

JAN - what were you doing on a bus in Manchester centre yesterday evening? Don't try to get out of it lady, I know it was you! Although, you seemed to be ignoring me when I shouted "Jan! Jan it's me, Dotsie! Jan! Jan! Jan! JAN! JAAAAN! IT'S DOTSIEEEE!"

PS you need to buy some more glasses. Sellotape is not a good look.
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Postby CrysaniaMajere » Tue Jan 12, 2010 9:49 am

Sjoerd3000 wrote:and someone needs to escort Aley to Monaco to reunite her with Morty :wink:


Of course, I think it's a good idea, then anyone trying to retake Morty would have a deadly encounter with a really-p*ssed-off-cat who was forced to travel and who was left alone without Morty to feed her. Just point her towards the guards and shout "They took your food away from you" !

Then sit and watch.
Got any pop-corn?

EDIT= :oops: didn't see the new thread. I'll transfer there :oops:
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