poohcarrot wrote:Von Squirmy-Claws wrote:Sorry pooh I think we're all going to be a little pensive in here for a bit
Pensive?! My ass! I'm gonna nail someone!!!
This game is getting silly!
I'm supposed to be a solitary cross-dressing vampire, living all alone in my castle with only my harmless perversions and extensive library of rare tomes to occupy me during the long cold winter months.
Instead, I'm rapidly becoming the bl**dy social butterfly of Bonk!
I've had so many people visit me on recent evenings that I'm thinking of removing my portcullis and installing a s*dding revolving door.
If so much as one more person visits me in my castle, I'm going to tear up my black-ribbon membership card and sink my fangs into their neck.
I mean, for Gods' sake! You lot are worse than carol singers!
And the amusing thing about it is, I'm not allowed to mention to anybody who I've been entertaining.
So instead, let's have an objectively scientific look at the Gobby co-efficients of everybody who's left.
Jan has been very gobby recently, so the chances of her being a werewolf are ZERO!!!
The Librarian has also been quite gobby of late too, so the chances of her being a werewolf are ZERO!!!
Whereas the gobby co-efficients of Crysania, Lady V and Bikkit are all near enough to 100%
I VOTE FOR CRYSANIA
I VOTE FOR CRYSANIA
I VOTE FOR CRYSANIA
poohbcarrot wrote:As I mentioned earlier, this book can be looked at as a combination of "Animal Farm" and Nostradamus. I believe the fact that it was published in 2001, at the very start of the Bush Presidency and the rise to power of the Neo-Cons, was no co-incidence. I think it was written as a warning for what was to come.
RAT-PUBLICANS V DEMOC-RATS
This picture shows the normal rats and the changelings;
The main difference between them is that the normal rats are looking to the "Right", whereas the changelings are looking to the "Left".
The normal rats live in a rat-eat-rat, every-rat-for-itself, survival of the fittest world. This is a perfect description of Capitalism.
The changelings believe in rat-shall-not-eat-rat, rats-united-will-never-be-divided, rat-help-rat world. This is a perfect desciption of a liberal Social Democracy.
So I'll call the capitalist "Right-looking" rats Rat-publicans and the "Left-looking" changeling rats Democ-rats
Spider (Rat King) is 8 Rat-publicans tied together, forming a single entity that has power over rats. I'll call this entity the Neo-Rats. Each Rat-publican in the Neo-Rats is blind to the world outside.
The Neo-Rats seek world domination, or at the very least, a state of perpetual war.
The Neo-Rats are pure evil and don't care how many rats die in the process of achieving their goals.
By controlling minds, the Neo-Rats have the power to create any reality they choose.
The Neo-Rats use this mind control to manipulate rats to do their bidding, to fight and to die for what they pervertedly see as a noble and just cause.
OBEY ME! DON'T THINK!
Among the Democ-rats there is one rat called Dangerous Beans. I'll call him Ba-rat Oba-mouse. Not only is Ba-rat Oba-mouse a different colour to the other Democ-rats, but also he thinks differently.
Can we stop eating our fellow rats? Yes, we can!
Can we work together and help each other? Yes, we can!
Can we sit down and talk to our enemies? Yes, we can!
Ba-rat is the rat who has the ideas. Ba-rat is the rat who everyone listens to. Ba-rat is the rat who is the eloquent speaker.
The following is part of Ba-rat's speech when confronting the Neo-Rats. (I have changed the word "rats" to "people", and the words "Big Rat" to "God"). Doesn't it sound Obama-esque?
"Because, you see, you think for many people," he said. "But you don't think of them. Nor are you, for all that you say, God. Every word you utter is a lie. If there is God, and I hope there is, he would not talk of war and death. He would be made of the best we could be, not the worst we are. No, I will not join you, liar in the dark. I prefer our way. We are silly and weak sometimes. But together we are strong. You have plans for people? Well I have dreams for them."
Ba-rat Oba-mouse survives everything the Neo-Rats can throw against him and emerges victorious in the end.
swreader wrote:..the unlikely real leader is Dangerous Beans (the albino rat who alone is able to withstand and reject Spider's power). He is, in an odd way-- the commander in chief, or the president of these rats..
If this book were publishd for the first time tomorrow, it would be regarded as a thinly disguised "Anti-Neo-Conservative/Pro-Obama" analogy. However, what makes it remarkable is that it was published 8 years ago!
"The Amazing Maurice and his Educated Rodents" spookily predicts with unerring accuracy the events of the years 2001-2009 including the fall of the Neo-Cons, perpetual war, a mind-controlled population (cough Fox News cough) and even the rise to power of Barrack Obama.
On Discworld the Neo-Rats were stopped before they could unleash their terrible destructive forces on the world.
Unfortunately on Roundworld, we weren't so lucky.
But we had been warned!
poohcarrot wrote:So what's that blood coming from your hands? Stigmata?
Kladivo wrote:Nope. That's what's left from the previous mr smartypants
poohcarrot wrote:I love you Jan, and want to have your babies.
Dotsie wrote:God, what would they be like?
Batty wrote:What if they had twins?
Jan Van Quirm wrote: Twins might be nice actually - I'd call them Gobsang after their daddy and Slobsang after moi
Disney Sea sounds like a blind Glaswegian.
Tonyblack wrote:If it works and saves you money, don't knock it! I remember taking one of my kids to casualty years ago and I got chatting to the doctor there. I said something along the lines of - if Superglue is so good at sticking skin together why don't they use it instead of stitches. She said that actually they did. It was used during the Falkland's War experimentally. I don't know whatever happened since. It seems logical to me.:
Byakuran wrote: Wow I'd never heard of that... What happens if you're a little too clumsy and get it all over your tongue??
Batty wrote:No doubt you'll be stuck for words???
poohcarrot wrote:To be honest, I don't think you can or should nominate a favourite thread, let alone post.
This is a great forum, with wonderful moderators and lovely members. It is only because of the members that funny posts get posted.
So I vote for every single post as my favourite. If anyone can be bothered to sit at a computer and post anything, they deserve the credit.
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