Lord Ponsamby-Smyth is Innocent ....Free the Innocent One!

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Postby Lord Ponsamby-Smyth » Mon Dec 07, 2009 11:08 pm

My reputation and good family name have been dragged down by all the attempts to falsely imprison me, and there has been a threat made on my life, so while the police are still investigating the case of false threats being made about my involvment with Lady-boys who have dissapeared, as well as someone whom is known to us trying to false documentation on myself to set me up further, the situation remains the same.

The rule 23 which I claimed on entering the vistorian building, means I can be easily found when the police need me, and its hardly likely the place for a lady-boy to want to visit, so im still in Strangeways at the moment, and have moved into a double cell with Bernie the blowlamp Montgomery for security!...

All V.O's are suspended at the moment, so those which were requested im sorry but they will be valid at a later date, and a few of the gentlemen whom are expecting release dates in the forthcoming few days, have expressed an intrest in speaking to Jenkins.

I agree that the bean counters are less than happy about me taking up some much needed space in here, but till the culprit either owns up, or declares the truth that there will be no further attempt to frame me in any way, I have been advised by the police special branch, to remain where I am.
Back in da house....
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Postby Jan Van Quirm » Mon Dec 07, 2009 11:27 pm

Dear oh dear - :lol:

Well Bernie seems like an amenable (if incendiary) chappie so I daresay you'll be safe enough from any enterprising inmate who's tempted to take up any contract that's out on you. Just don't go to shower room without your new blowla - I mean cell-mate :P
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Postby Lord Ponsamby-Smyth » Tue Dec 08, 2009 4:14 pm

Your right there Jan about the bean counters.....we had to induce folk to think where we could be found, and by letting the folk think we were still in strangeways, gave us time to get a few things done, and to find a safe place where we could operate unknown by some readers of this forum.

The clue was the fact that Bernie Blowtorch Montgomery was mentioned, gave me time to work on him, and as he was due release in days, was a great help in seeing me get a safe house, as indeed I can now say, that we stayed with a friend of the forum ie none other the Mortimer Postlethwaite.

I was quite suprised to find that he lived in a flat in the centre of Manchester, (Picadilly) as I didnt imagine Mortimer as being a town dweller.

I got on quite well the chap, and was impressed by his knowledge of music, and the way he could get info on someone, which will be put to use at a letar date...but the way he and Bernie got along was a result in that it restored my hope that human kindness can be found within all of us.

The spacous flat was ideal for me, though I did feel it weird to be so close to a busy thriving town centre, and yet so far away from the noise and bustle I imagined, and it was there when Bernie came up with a bright idea.....Castle Launceston!.
Back in da house....
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Postby Jan Van Quirm » Tue Dec 08, 2009 4:38 pm

Very, very cunning Lord PS and I'm sorry I blew a whistle a little prematurely on a wild guess (well not completely as I did once work in another field of law and know quite well how the prison governors get over people outstaying their 'welcomes' in HMs holiday homes :wink: )

I have to warn you however that Dunheved is in a real state in being completely roofless and with the weather being so wet down here even though there is no possibility of your being flooded out up there on the motte you will get very, very wet this week unless you have top notch camping equipment - the English Heritage lot don't stick around for the winter season either so ye Olde Gift Shoppe's not too much of an alternative shelter really... :roll:

Now I would of course invite you around to my own abode, but the dog doesn't like strange men around his mummy and regrettably the housemate (who is a very strange man but the dog adores him as he's the one who does most of the walkies...! :evil: ) gets back early on Friday morn and then I have no spare bedroom to offer you I regret. :? :lol:
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Postby poohcarrot » Thu Dec 10, 2009 12:37 pm

What's happening with Lord P?

Is he still banged up in the nick?

I really can't be arsed to check. :D

I have heard through the grapevine that if he is free and roaming the streets, then I fear he may be in for a bit of a surprise. :twisted:
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Postby Jan Van Quirm » Thu Dec 10, 2009 1:04 pm

:roll: read Lord PS' last post above this. The staying in prison thing was a bluff - he's been staying at Morty's :wink:
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Postby poohcarrot » Thu Dec 10, 2009 1:10 pm

Oh. I didn't read that one. :roll:
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Postby mary the mangle-wench » Thu Dec 10, 2009 1:47 pm

Lord Ponceybee, your lardshop, I am Mary the mangle wench.

You remember the time nearly 9 months ago when you took advantage of me, a mere 17 year-old young chit of a girl sadly cursed with breasts the size of watermelons, at the back of the wash house. I told you I was a virgin, but you said if I kept my fingers crossed I wouldn't lose my virginity.

Well, my tummy has been getting bigger and bigger, and recently the good doctor Theobald pronounced me heavy with child. When I told my parents they kicked me out of the house, so now I'm living in a stable. Our baby is due on December 25th.

Well I'm a bit worried about something. Technically I'm still a virgin, so this would be a virgin birth. The other day an angel appeared unto me and spaketh that I should fear no mighty dread. He then went on to tell me that the baby I am carrying is half yours and half God's and will grow up to be the new Messiah.

What should we do?
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Postby poohcarrot » Thu Dec 10, 2009 1:52 pm

:shock: Oh crumbs! Poor Lord P. :( Having only just been released from the nick, he's now got to face the possibility that he's half the father of the new Messiah!

Well there's a to-do and no mistake. :shock:
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Postby Morty » Thu Dec 10, 2009 3:14 pm

It gets worse....There’re never going to find Three Wise men on this forum :lol:
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Postby Bouncy Castle » Thu Dec 10, 2009 4:20 pm

Mortimer Postlethwaite wrote:It gets worse....There’re never going to find Three Wise men on this forum :lol:



:D :D :D

I haven't a ruddy clue what the hell this thread is all about, but it does make me laff.
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Postby Tonyblack » Thu Dec 10, 2009 4:47 pm

Bouncy Castle wrote:
Mortimer Postlethwaite wrote:It gets worse....There’re never going to find Three Wise men on this forum :lol:



:D :D :D

I haven't a ruddy clue what the hell this thread is all about, but it does make me laff.
Glad it's not just me then. :lol:
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Postby Jan Van Quirm » Thu Dec 10, 2009 5:44 pm

poohcarrot wrote::shock: Oh crumbs! Poor Lord P. :( Having only just been released from the nick, he's now got to face the possibility that he's half the father of the new Messiah!

Well there's a to-do and no mistake. :shock:

Hmmm - how serendipitous! :twisted: I have a nice little dice/race game we could adapt into this and 3 Wise Men won't be needed, but we do need up to a half dozen up the duff virgin mangle wenches... :lol:

More to come later - I needed something to keep me busy tonight :wink:
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Postby Morty » Thu Dec 10, 2009 8:16 pm

Jan Van Quirm wrote:3 Wise Men won't be needed, but we do need up to a half dozen up the duff virgin mangle wenches... :lol:



I am far too much of an old fashioned gentleman to expand on this subject in any great depth but are we really going to find 6 virgins on this forum :roll: :oops: :shock: :lol:
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Postby janet » Thu Dec 10, 2009 8:30 pm

I could probably rustle up a few virgins and shepherds but we might have to advertise for the wise men. x
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