Lord Ponsamby-Smyth is Innocent ....Free the Innocent One!

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Lord Ponsamby-Smyth is Innocent ....Free the Innocent One!

Postby Morty » Sun Dec 06, 2009 6:39 pm

I make no secret that in the past I have been highly suspicious of our titled member but to hear he is incarcerated with common vagabonds is outrageous.

Allegations made without foundation and with a jury who I suspect was handpicked if not members of the inner circle are the real criminals.

Lord Ponsamby-Smyth may be many things but if you agree with me that he should be freed as the season of goodwill approaches please sign this petition.

If we reach a sufficiently high enough number signatures then I’ll remove THIS
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Postby Jan Van Quirm » Sun Dec 06, 2009 8:29 pm

You unspeakable swine Mortimer! :lol:
for the link I mean! :evil:
"Some men see things as they are and ask why. Others dream things that never were and ask why not.” George Bernard Shaw
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Postby Morty » Mon Dec 07, 2009 12:28 pm

Only one comment , thank you Jan, but still no signatures..... :oops:

Maybe THIS will help you find forgiveness and Christmas spirit :roll:

It certainly had me looking for something to drown my sorrows :lol:
Oh for a rifle and a wall :twisted:

Christmas in prison Eh’! ..... Who’d have thought it :shock: :shock: :shock:
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Postby poohcarrot » Mon Dec 07, 2009 12:50 pm

But surely Lord P hasn't been convicted yet, just awaiting trial. Anything can happen between now and the trial. :D
"Disliking Carrot would be like kicking a puppy."
"You kicked a puppy," Lobsang said accusingly.
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Postby jenkins » Mon Dec 07, 2009 12:54 pm

Hello Peter the large hippopotamus. There's a grumbling in the cheesecake factory, don't you know. I'm no longer Mr Phelps I'm a small piece of coleslaw. Wibble, wibble. Have you seen my scabs? :?
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Postby poohcarrot » Mon Dec 07, 2009 12:58 pm

Well golly gosh and blimey! :shock:

There's a turn up for the books, if ever I saw one. Jenkins is obviously stark raving bonkers. As he was the chief witness, the whole trial will now have to be cancelled and Lord P released immediately (unless he likes it in there) with ne'er a blemish to his record.

Talk about lucky, or what? :lol:
"Disliking Carrot would be like kicking a puppy."
"You kicked a puppy," Lobsang said accusingly.
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Postby Quark » Mon Dec 07, 2009 1:01 pm

Sorry, but I'm a bit behind here. What exactly is going on with Lord Ponsamby-Smyth?
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Postby poohcarrot » Mon Dec 07, 2009 1:13 pm

The evil Jenkins tricked Lord P into admitting he was a lady-boy killer, so Lord P's been banged up in the nick. :twisted:

However, it now turns out that Jenkins is completely insane, and as he was the only witness for the prosecution, it means that if Lord P wants to leave prison, he can at any time. :P

But maybe he likes it in there and all the bending down to pick up the soap is good exercise for him.

We shall soon see.

Plus the sooner he gets out, the less awful music we'll be forced to listen to from Lord Morty. :lol:
"Disliking Carrot would be like kicking a puppy."
"You kicked a puppy," Lobsang said accusingly.
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Postby Morty » Mon Dec 07, 2009 1:16 pm

Mr. Carrot if I didn’t know you as an honest, kind, good, benevolent, fair, decent, admirable, trustworthy, righteous, virtuous, person I might have suggested that somehow you have ‘’tinkered’’ with the evidence and maybe just maybe had a word in the shell like of Jenkins!

As His Lordship might say ....You’re a jolly fine fellow.

Merry Christmas to you Pooh.
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Postby Morty » Mon Dec 07, 2009 1:37 pm

As I was not expecting such a quick release for His Lordship I have a vast collection of truly dreadful Youtube clips :oops: :oops:

I might edit them all together and release a DVD with all proceeds going to help Lord PS keep Ponsamby House in the family.

Anybody wishing to buy a copy can email me on

twocansandalengthofstring@jurassic.com

The perfect stocking filler for the love of your life.....PMSL

This is not Spam onest G'Nuv
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Postby Lord Ponsamby-Smyth » Mon Dec 07, 2009 3:28 pm

I heard the good news on the prison grapevine, and was waiting for a visit from the Govenor, to let me know officially about the early release, due to the fact I am innocent of any such crime.....

But a prison guard accompanied with a duty solicitor, informed me straight after slop out, that a female had come forward to express her concern about my release, it seems that she is known to many of the forum as the e-mail came from the same computer that posts on here, and that the lady is concerned, as she is midway through a sex change, and the lady-boy label could be indeed given to her.

Duty Solicitor has expressed a concern that I stay in here for my own safety, as the woman (who is a regular poster on here) has been known to use...well at that point I admit to going numb and didnt hear what the Solicitor went on about, but have decided to take his advice for the time being, till the said lady, nee wench, comes forward and agrees that no woman need fear time spent in my company......besides I hear that its sticky toffee cheesecake for sweet today.... :D
Last edited by Lord Ponsamby-Smyth on Mon Dec 07, 2009 4:01 pm, edited 2 times in total.
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Postby Morty » Mon Dec 07, 2009 3:45 pm

I hope the Ladyboy MEMBER no pun intended comes forward soon and secures your EARLY release.

The next musically ditty I have lined up is of truly epic proportions.

Clue.....Think all American ''Singing'' family and the season of goodwill.
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Postby Jan Van Quirm » Mon Dec 07, 2009 6:09 pm

:roll:

Hmm - a very timely intervention with Jenkins going conveniently bonkers. As Lord PS was 'only' on remand pending trial on the basis of his bogus guilty plea and fears for his absconding on bail, I would venture that his continued incarceration at HM's pleasure is more to do with the fact that he's been attempting to pervert the course of justice in giving stupid confessions, so I'm not going to pay too much attention to his still being banged up due to this spurious (I do like that word! :D ) claim that it's for his own safety.

I'm also concerned that whilst his lordship was paying for his keep in the prison laundry, no apparent contrition for his callous and repeated abuse of the mangle girls transpired...? :shock: Sex-change bunny boiler be blowed! :x I'm rather asking myself what role the loose moralled Mrs. Jenkins has been playing during all this debacle and whether she has had reason to 'do the dirty' on both husband and paramour in some way.

So I'm still not on the Lord PS is innocent bandwagon, but I'm thinking that something or other was afoot of a clandestine nature and that perhaps Lord PS is the unwitting fall guy in some greater game here? :shock: :twisted:
"Some men see things as they are and ask why. Others dream things that never were and ask why not.” George Bernard Shaw
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Postby poohcarrot » Mon Dec 07, 2009 10:02 pm

He's not coming out coz he likes it in there. :roll: He's always liked a bit of rough.

Which would fit in perfectly with why he wanted the lady boys in the first place. :lol:
"Disliking Carrot would be like kicking a puppy."
"You kicked a puppy," Lobsang said accusingly.
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Postby Jan Van Quirm » Mon Dec 07, 2009 10:12 pm

Perhaps - but HM doesn't keep people in chokey on a whim despite appearances to the contrary (the bean counters don't like the limited space getting taken up by waste of spaces like his lordship unless there's some kind of payback - with him wanting to continue playing find the soap not being sufficient... :wink: ) And anyway, if he needs protection then prison's the last place he'd be safe (it's full of criminals for heaven's sake who'll do anything for a extra bit of snout money! :P ) so the police would have take over the security arrangements or maybe some 'specialist outfit' is this is an international concern maybe :roll:
"Some men see things as they are and ask why. Others dream things that never were and ask why not.” George Bernard Shaw
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